Mmm... steaming hot ramen.

What I enjoyed most about the movie, without giving away too many details, was the main ingredient that Brittany Murphey’s character, Abby, learned to infuse into her ramen that made it special: spirit. Because in the end, this was not a movie about ramen, or romance. It was about finding one’s place in the world by focusing on the how more than the what.

“How” comes from within

The fact that Abby learned to make a great bowl of ramen is secondary to what it required of her to do it. She got the recipe right long before she was able to make a meal that was worthy of being served to her customers, because she was taught that making soup isn’t just about getting a bunch of ingredients and assembling them. It’s about heart. Unless your soup has spirit, it hasn’t got anything.

It’s a lesson that, I believe, resonates for many of us. We spend a lot of time reading books about parachutes or real-life stories of people searching for their “perfect” jobs. We’re taught to believe that if we just find the right career, we’ll be mystically satiated, and we’ll labor away blissfully for the rest of our lives. The emphasis here is placed on the initial discovery, and the promise is that once that discovery is made, the rest is downhill. (If you think about it, this ideal is promulgated in many arenas, from relationships to parenting to politics.)

The Ramen Girl teaches something else, though. It teaches that “getting the recipe right” is only the first step. In order to truly do something well, to transform it from ordinary to exceptional—and to transform yourself in the process—requires an internal contribution that goes beyond meticulousness and hard work. You have to invest yourself in what you’re doing. You have to be willing to be vulnerable, to give of yourself to your patrons through your work. It makes work personal, intimate, and unique.

The Divine is in the Details

As a webdesigner, I can churn out code until the cows come home. I can tweak settings, configure plugins, and customize design details until my fingers turn blue. And in so doing, I can be a good webdesigner, and serve my clients well. I’ll even feel the satisfaction of a job well done. But, is that all I should hope for?

If you want to feel like you’re doing your best work, the scorecard that matters is not the one that can be judged by what shows up on the screen, or on the paper, or in the product. Satisfaction—the bone-deep, spirit-lifting, existential experience of meaning—is found in the value and the interaction of your work and its target. In other words, it’s what your work creates in the experience of another that comes back to you as satisfaction. If it matters, then it matters, no matter what you’re called, from carpenter to coach to CEO.

It’s in the pursuit of that intangible satisfaction that work finds its meaning, we find our purpose, and the path of mastery is made clear. And, at every step of the way, it’s up to you to choose the giving road, the road of excellence, the road of interaction and connection, with your soul laid bare. It may not be easy, but the best things in life rarely come without incredible effort.

Image by bass_nroll.

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2009. | Permalink | 8 comments

Long time, no write, eh? The Monk has been busy!

In fact, that’s exactly what I want to talk to you about. No, not the “busy” part, the “Monk” part.

You see, I got out of spiritual healing work for a number of reasons, one of the biggies being that I didn’t like the feeling of charging for spiritually specific work (intuitive work, healing work, business work… sure. No problem. But teaching it? Just didn’t feel right.).

But even though I transitioned to full-time web design, I was still running everything out of MonkAtWork.com, and that just kinda bugged me. I would’ve preferred to have a different home for the web work, and leave the spiritual stuff here.

At the same time, as I worked with a number of clients, I began to realize a few things about the way my clients and I were approaching the design process, including what made a big difference in people’s success levels with their new sites (and, of course, what didn’t). I wanted to rectify those pitfalls, make it better/cheaper/faster/easier for folks, and do it in a way that really played to my strengths, and the strengths of WordPress (my platform of choice).

Long story short: I have a new home for my “web design” services, and it’s going to blow your doors off. Enter: Bright Coconut.

What’s the big diff?

Well, I’m great with WordPress, great with teaching WordPress and webstuff to people (hence, WebFit), but compared to some of the geniuses out there, I’m no graphics pro (that’s what happens when you major in Literature instead of Design…). And I believe that if you’re doing a bunch of custom design work, you should be a designer.

As much as I know solid design, I don’t do design in that create-unique-artwork-from-scratch way… and I didn’t want to let my lack of graphics cred keep my clients—who’ve appreciated my educational/teaching background—from having beautiful sites. I mean, I’m a form-follows-function guy when it comes down to it, but if you don’t have to choose, why should you?

So, at Bright Coconut, I’m thinking of myself more as a “web educator” than a “web designer”, if you get my drift. When you see what I’ve got going on over there, you’ll see what I mean.

The evolution of WebFit

WebFit has been received really well, and still, there were elements about it I knew I wanted to shift. I wanted to make room for different people’s learning speeds, and not have to make people wait months for the next round of classes to begin.

I did a LOT of brainstorming, a LOT of strategic planning, and a LOT of looking at all of this from multiple angles (yes, three planets in Virgo and a double Grand Trine in Air come in handy from time to time), and came up with what I think is going to be a slam dunk. I ran the idea past a few folks, and they all loved it, too.

In a nutshell, I’ve made WebFit into a video-tutorial-based course, along with personal support and exclusive resources, and I even did something unheard of in business these days: I made it less expensive, and gave you more. True!

So, when you check out Bright Coconut, be sure to check out The Solution as well, and you’ll see how WebFit has evolved.

Where does that leave the Monk?

The Monk, and all of his posts and comments and such, have been moved here.

I still use my tools, and I still believe in the value of living “monkishly”, especially when it comes to one’s work life… and yet it’s much like when people get really interested in a new hobby: they devour every book, turn over every rock they can, looking for more juicy stuff… because that’s what they’re into. It’s their thing.

And yet, if they truly grow, there comes a point where their passion mellows. It’s not as all-consuming anymore, because the new hobby isn’t new anymore; it has integrated itself into their lives.

True, some passions never fade, and they become (a)vocations. PD was mine for a good 15 years or more. But, it’s not anymore, and I want to be fully up-front about that. I’ll still leave these posts here, though, since I still get notes from time-to-time from people who stumble upon them and get value from them. Just don’t expect much new stuff unless I get inspired, ‘kay?

Where does that leave you?

Feel free to take advantage of the posts I have here; there’s some good stuff you can benefit from, if I say so myself.

And if you need a website, or want to get “WebFit” and learn all about how to master your own WordPress-based site, then come join me at Bright Coconut! (And if you’re a Twitter nut, I’ve got both my personal twitter account and a Bright-Coconut-specific twitter account as well.)

Image by Vanlal.

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2009. | Permalink | 3 comments

But being the between-the-lines kinda guy that I am, I wanted to answer the question not with three answers, but with one. And so naturally, my answer was “CrossFit.”

Now, I never would have answered that question with any other fitness/exercise/sport that I’ve done (except maybe Nomadics), and I’ve done tons: intercollegiate rowing, yoga (bikram’s, ashtanga, hatha), triathlons, tai chi, full-contact martial arts, bodybuilding, you name it. Why?

Because you’ve got to embrace the suck.

Jon Gilson of Again Faster says it excellently in this must-read article:

When the knurling scrapes your shins, and your traps bunch into knots, you’ll make a decision, one that will affect every aspect of your life. Give in to the agony, and you will always give in. Cave to demands that crush you, and you’ll always cave. Roll to the floor, and you’ll always exist beneath those who choose to stand.

In order to make it through gruesome ordeals, you have to find a place in yourself that wants to overcome. Rising up to meet a challenge, toughing it out when high tide comes your way, and gritting your teeth and not giving up are the price of admission to success.

When you dig deep and muster up a performance that you weren’t sure you had in you, that teaches you something. It teaches you that you are strong, that you can withstand Shakespeare’s “slings and arrows”, and that your character, being what it is, is sufficient to the task.

“Embracing the suck,” then, is the hallmark of a champion. If you can look at a challenge, know it’s going to bite you in the ass, and still get yourself up to the starting line, then you’re playing the game for real.

You may not like it, but it’s true.

I know this may not sit well in today’s personal growth culture, where you can’t take a strong stance without the words compassion! and empathy! being hissed at you like you’re a demonic drill sergeant, just waiting to pound anything soft within range into cold, hard submission.

Now, before you write me off as a heartless bastard, know that I fully understand the roles of compassion, empathy, and proper timing. Too much, too fast, and you’ll burn out your engine, whether it’s your physical engine or your spiritual one. There are times when pushing means pushing too hard, and you do need to back off and give yourself a break.

But if you’re always giving yourself a break, and don’t have a mechanism in place that will take you past your comfort zones, you’ll never grow. And in my estimation, that would be worse than having never pushed too far.

It doesn’t have to be CrossFit, of course.

I’m not saying CrossFit is the only way. I’m not saying the path of the heart doesn’t have a thousand manifestations. And I’m not saying that there’s any one way to truth.

I am saying, though, that you have to find a way to go beyond who you’ve been. And in the rounded-corner world that most of us live in, there are precious few opportunities to see the kind of person you are, and forge yourself into something more.

And personally, I happen to love physical exercise. I love the movement of muscle and bone, the expression of intention through physical activity, and the grace and poise that athletics can bring to its devotees. Maybe it’s because I grew up overweight and sedentary for so many years that I’ve come to appreciate the joy of feeling my body do what it can. I don’t need to ruminate on it anymore, honestly, trying to find a concise “why”; it’s a joyous, happy part of my life, one that I’m immensely grateful for.

Again, from Jon Gilson’s article,

Remember that the walls of the gym are nothing more than physical barriers, meant only to separate us from the elements. What you do within those walls will echo in your daily life, and you would do well to choose your actions wisely.

And that’s just it, isn’t it?

What you do in one area of your life echoes through the rest of it, doesn’t it? You can’t compartmentalize anything. It all plays together, it all makes a difference, and it all matters.

How you rest is how you eat is how you work is how you dream is how you love. What you bring to one, you bring to another.

Image by Malingering.

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2009. | Permalink | 5 comments

This post is just another form of procrastination. Ignore it.

No, don’t ignore it. Learn from it.

What do you do in order to not do what you need to be doing?

Not what you should be doing, because we all know what happens when you ‘should’ on yourself… but what you need to be doing. There’s a difference.

What’s the difference?

The difference is that ‘shoulds’ are tasks that are often being dictated by a plan. A plan you’ve agreed to at one point or another, but a plan nonetheless.

The ‘needs’ are that which have to be done, or else you don’t make it. What ‘it’ is will be different for us all; for some, it’s survival, for others it’s success, and others, signficance.

I’m not saying that just because ‘shoulds’ come from a plan, you shouldn’t do them. Or that needs always trump them. I’m not saying that at all.

I’m just saying that it’s good to notice where your motivation is coming from before leaving one task to move on to another, so don’t end up wasting time, your most precious resource.

That said, I won’t take up any more of yours… or mine. Back to it, now!

Image by dirtyfeet.

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2009. | Permalink | 7 comments

Why, in seemingly every tradition, are there ritual practices?

Because rituals work, that’s why. They work through repetition; through continual practice, the attentive mind learns the steps until they are memorized. Once the mind’s focus is no longer needed to complete the ritual, it goes on “auto-pilot”, and the adept can repeat the ritual and focus the mind deeper, awakening the heart/soul/whatever (depends on the ritual, of course). This allows for a much deeper level of presence to be had, transforming the result of the ritual, and the mind of the practitioner.

Or, as my martial arts teacher would say, “First, the mind teaches the body what to do. Then, the body refines the movement, teaching the mind how it wants to move. Finally, body and mind are united as one.” He also said that once you performed an action 10,000 times, you had it mastered.

Clearly, rituals rock. In disciplines such as spirituality, or martial arts, that’s a no-duh statement. But what about in your work day? Do you have rituals?

If you answered no, allow me to differ. Uh, email? Twitter? Checking your voice mail?

And those are just the ubiquitous ones… depending on what line of work you’re in, you’ve probably got a bunch more. Here are some of mine:

• Health: CrossFit, 4-5 days a week. And if you think CrossFit doesn’t count as a ritual, you don’t know CrossFitters! We check the Workout of the Day (WOD) religiously, the star-performers of CrossFit are like heroes, and we read the CrossFit Journal like it’s a holy text. Trust me; don’t get in between a CrossFitter and his/her workout.
• Personal Growth: I have a set of practices I do regularly designed to enhance my sense of connection, develop my focus, and keep me moving towards the future I envision. These include gratitude, visualization, self-healing, and more (I’ll be sharing more about this as time goes on, in case anyone’s curious…).
• Business: I write, tweet, and email, like many do. I also regularly search for web design and development knowledge, reading feeds of favorite designers and design compendiums, investigating WordPress plugins and theme developments, etc.

There are more, of course, but you get the idea.

In my mind, these all qualify as rituals, because the more I do them, the more aware I am of the effects of the practice themselves, and the more I transform as a person through doing them (yes, even through Twitter). They make me better at what I do, of course… but it would be easy to do any of these and not get the same benefits.

What makes the difference? Intention. Have the intention to carry your focus and presence deeper as you do your daily rituals, and see what happens. If you’ve never thought of your work as potential for ritual before, take a moment and reflect on your day… where does this idea of ritual make perfect sense?

Some days are just meh.

Of course, some days you’re on, and some days you aren’t. Some days, email is just email. Meditation is just sitting there. Chanting is just mindless blather. After all, I’m no Master Oogway, either.

But that’s not a deficiency in the ritual, it’s a lack of intention and presence. Any regular activity can be transformed into ritual with the proper mindset.

So, if you notice yourself out of the groove one day, you’ve got a choice: Hop back up into the saddle, or let it go, and just be where you’re at (that’s called ‘acceptance’). There’s always another day.

What rituals do you use?

Image by moriza.

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2009. | Permalink | 9 comments