1 0 Tag Archives: purpose
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Lessons from The Ramen Girl

I watched The Ramen Girl last night. I know, I know… not exactly the kind of movie you’d expect from a carnivorous, Olympic-lifting male, but I did. And you know what? I enjoyed it. Truth be told, I actually like romantic comedies as a genre—call me a sensitive, new-age guy, if you must—but what I enjoyed most from The Ramen Girl wasn’t the trials and tribulations of Brittany Murphy, or even the food (and I love food movies).

Mmm... steaming hot ramen.

Mmm... steaming hot ramen.

What I enjoyed most about the movie, without giving away too many details, was the main ingredient that Brittany Murphey’s character, Abby, learned to infuse into her ramen that made it special: spirit. Because in the end, this was not a movie about ramen, or romance. It was about finding one’s place in the world by focusing on the how more than the what.

“How” comes from within

The fact that Abby learned to make a great bowl of ramen is secondary to what it required of her to do it. She got the recipe right long before she was able to make a meal that was worthy of being served to her customers, because she was taught that making soup isn’t just about getting a bunch of ingredients and assembling them. It’s about heart. Unless your soup has spirit, it hasn’t got anything.
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Why the “Six Months to Live” Question Is The Wrong One To Ask

Time to ponder your path
Focus is perhaps one of the most crucial qualities to develop when it comes to bringing your best to work. When you’re focused, you can get incredible amounts of work done in short periods of time. Focus makes staying on task easy. And there’s one question in particular you can ask yourself that’s supposed to inspire herculean amounts of focus.

Now, you’ve no doubt seen this question circulating amongst the well-intentioned, self-help best-seller bookshelves’ residents for years. It’s pulled out time and again as the ultimate refiner of focus, the samurai sword of the cut-through-the-fluff-ers’ arsenal, the go-to tool of the productivity heroes’ utility belts. Ready?

If you only had six months to live, what would you do right now?

Ta da! Answer that question, and all your troubles will be solved, right?

Well…
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Interview: Divine Purpose Unleashed

I was interviewed by Michelle Vandepas of Divine Purpose Unleashed last week… and boy, did we cover the gamut of topics. Most of the time we talked about healing, and what it takes to make real change in your life, as well as life purpose, A Whole New Mind, and more. Check it out here.

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Which S Are You?

3 tall men

I read an article years ago about tall people, and their supposed nomenclature for describing how tall they are. “What are you?”, one tall guy says to another. “Three,” says the second guy, who’s 6’3″. “You?”, he continues.

“Five,” says the 6’5″ guy, clearly feeling superior about the extra two inches of height he was given (and didn’t lift a finger for, of course). The two men size themselves up for a moment, swagger and grunt a few times, and both walk away feeling good that they’re in the upper percentiles of vertically-endowed men, and equally happy they didn’t come across LeBron James. Or Leonid Stadnyk.

Is This True?

I don’t honestly know, although I can say with all certainty, as someone who’s 6’4″ myself, I’ve never referred to myself as “four”, nor have I ever had some guy come at me and say he was “six” or “one” or “hey, I’m four, too.”

The idea, though, of self-identifying with a number is, of course, pretty darn silly (not to mention indicative of some serious insecurities that you should probably seek help with). There are plenty of metrics you can use to get a better grip on where you are in your life, and height isn’t one of them, unless you’re a teenage NBA hopeful. For the rest of us, let’s take a look at one metric that can have direct bearing on the kinds of conversations you are having, whether you realize it or not.
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How Wabi-Sabi Can Help Your Search For Meaning

wabi sabiSearching for meaning? Want to know what your purpose is?

Get in line.

- end of post -

Just kidding!

It’s obvious that there’s no one answer to these kinds of questions. It’s a search, an exploration… one that we all take once bitten by the “significance” bug. It’s a part of living an examined, awake life.

The trick is this: it’s one thing to search… and it’s another to stay sane as you do.

Discovering your purpose isn’t a race.

Instead of adopting the attitude of, “I’ve gotta find it NOW, so I can get going and make it happen!”, with a drive for perfection and a now-I-can-stop-searching-and-just-be-happy attitude, you’ll be far better off taking a page from the book of Japanese aesthetics, and more specifically, the concept of wabi-sabi.

What’s known to millions as a philosophy of "imperfection, impermanence, and incompletion" can keep you from ripping the hair from your head as you walk your walk. (and if you’re curious, mine is shaved, not ripped.)

So, with help from Leonard Koren’s book, Wabi-Sabi: for Artists, Designers, Poets and Philosophers, let’s take a look at some of the principles of wabi-sabi, “a nature-based aesthetic paradigm that restores a measure of sanity and proportion to the art of living,” and how they relate to the search for meaning and purpose.

Slow it down

To experience wabi-sabi means you have to slow down, be patient and look very closely.

In the search for purpose and meaning, I’ve seen an agitated frenzy erupt in some people. “I’ve gotta find my purpose! I don’t know what to do without it!”, or, "I can’t believe I’m x years old, and don’t know what my purpose is yet!" But discovering and living one’s purpose isn’t a pop-a-pill-and-be-done, download-it-now experience.

Just like wabi-sabi, your purpose is something that isn’t jumps up, does a dance, and hollers in your face. It’s often times a glacial process, where bits and pieces get uncovered as you go.

Because sometimes, when you stare at something, you miss it.

Instead, slow down, relax, and get in tune with your self — not the self that takes its cues from the world around it, but the you that you are in the absence of external input. The you that yearns to express itself in its own unique way.

Pare it back

Pare down to the essence, but don’t remove the poetry.

wabi sabiYour purpose is most often simpler than you might think. It’s like a mission statement — the longer and more loquacious they are, the less they’re probably saying. Instead, seek simplicity, much like Guy Kawasaki talks about in reference to "making a mantra" in “Art of the Start” (you can download his manifesto which talks about this from ChangeThis). Rather than drone on endlessly about "adding value through optimized ventures and time-honored blah blah blah", the statement of your purpose can be simple and clear, like, “serving children,” or, “expressing uniqueness through design,” or, “creating beautiful moments.” Wabi-sabi speaks of the power of simplicity, and at its finest, so does your sense of purpose.

Simplicity is at the core of things wabi-sabi. The essence of wabi-sabi, as expressed in tea, is simplicity itself: fetch water, gather firewood, boil the water, prepare tea, and serve it to others.

Let it go

Wabi-sabi is exactly about the delicate balance between the pleasure we get from things and the pleasure we get from freedom from things.

If your search for meaning is about getting something tangible, think again. While knowing your purpose and working from it can result in a more successful business (clarity attracts, if you catch my drift), the main reward of inner lucidity isn’t material, it’s spiritual. Fulfillment, more than fame and fortune, is the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.

It’s your life, after all

Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.

You are a work in progress. Your work is a work in progress. And no matter how good it looks, or how much you convince other people (and yourself) that you’ve "got it all together," the simple truth is that you can’t. And the good news is, you aren’t meant to.

Rather than rail against the messiness that continuous learning precipitates (you mean I have to re-write this ‘About Me’ page again?”), you’ll do far better to accept that you are always evolving. As Soren Kierkegaard said, we are “constantly in the process of becoming.” He also said, “Be that self which one truly is.” (Maybe I need to do a post on ‘The Kierkegaard Search For Purpose’…)

At its core, wabi-sabi is, to me, about recognizing the beauty in what is, so you can step back and appreciate what you have all around you. Not a bad prescription, I think.

Images by suika*2008 (out) and d’n'c.

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Are You One IN a Million, or One OF a Million?

One in a million...You’ve got a burning passion to help people, change the world, and make your mark. You believe in the uniqueness of who you are and what you want to do, and you know that people will love your services, if they would just try them.

And that’s the crux of it, right there. Why aren’t people lining up around the block for your service?

Maybe it’s because you aren’t giving them a compelling enough reason to.

If you’re unique, then why are you marketing yourself just like everyone else? Do you really think that just calling yourself a coach/trainer/designer/whatever-it-is-you-do is going to help you stand out from the rest of the vanilla, white-bread, snore-inducing coaches/trainers/designers/etc.?

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Does The World Need Your Blog?

Play your heart out!There are at least 80 million blogs out there in the world today. Sure, many of them are “spam-blogs” (splogs), and many are blogs created to chronicle an event in a person’s life (like a move across the country, or a new exercise routine), and then get discarded once the event—or the novelty—is done.

With all these gazillions of blogs out there, it sure can seem like a lot of noise.

So, does the world need your blog?

If it’s a spam blog, the answer is clearly no.
If it’s a blog about your cat, well, good for you — but sharing with it anyone but your cat isn’t really necessary.
But if you write because of something that you have a passion about, then I’d say yes — the world needs your blog. Very much.

Why?

Because you are a shining star in the firmament of the universe.
You are a jewel like none other.
You are a rose in bloom, honeyed and resplendent.

Let me ask you something, honestly: Did you read that last bit, or did you skip over it? Did you really take it in, as if I was writing to you (yes, you), or did you brush it off as banality?

Horton Hears A Who

As Horton said, “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant; an elephant (ahem, monk) is faithful one hundred percent.” I really do mean it when I say that you are special, precious, and unique.

How can I say that, when I don’t even know who’s reading this?

Because I believe — not as an airy-fairy dream, but because I’ve seen it in everyone I’ve ever met — that you have a special purpose inside of you. You have a light burning inside you to share with the world. It’s your contribution, your precious gift, your offering to the world.

And the world needs that. We need your gift. We need your voice. When you share your passion and your purpose, letting yourself be moved by the stirrings of your deepest yearnings for life, joy, connectedness, and expression, then the world benefits from your contribution.

Just as a symphony wouldn’t be complete without the contribution of the violins, the world around you hasn’t experienced fullness until you’ve given what you have to give.

So, does the world need your blog?

If you’re just adding to the noise, then no, probably not.
But if you’re sharing the music inside you, then yes. A resounding, full, and overwhelming yes.

Image by MyklR.

And thanks to all those who commented on the two previous posts so far: Pixelhead, Wendy Piersall, Joanna Young, Dawud Miracle, EM Sky

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