Adam Kayce

Beep. A beacon’s signal is sent out. Beep. The beacon’s light shines for all to see. Beep. The beacon’s call summons the people looking for it.

If the beacon had no signal — no light, no sound, nothing to announce its presence — it would have no usefulness. A hidden beacon does no one any good.

You’ve been given light. You’ve been given a voice. Are you doing the most with it, or trying to hide the fact that you’re here?

Of course, the logical answer is that you want to shine your light for all to see. And yet, I’ve seen plenty of people (myself included) shy away from standing clearly in who they are, because of stories in their past.

If you’ve been given the message in your life that you don’t count, or that you should just be quiet (the old “seen, not heard” dogma), or that people don’t want to know what you have to say, then you’ve most likely got old stories playing in your psyche that tell you it’s best if you don’t take up space.

But taking up space is what you’re here to do; in fact, you can’t be of much use to others if you don’t.

Let’s take a trip down memory lane…

Here’s a word you probably haven’t heard since high school: sovereignty. To be sovereign can mean two things: “autonomous”, like a country is when it sets its own borders (thank you Mr. Kaplan, my high school geography teacher), and “ruler”, as in a nation’s head of state, the one with the highest power or status within the country.

To be successful— purposeful, peaceful, and working at your potential—you’ve got to have both angles of sovereignty covered.

• When you’re autonomous, it means you make your own decisions. Naturally, you’d like to think you make your own decisions already. On the most basic level, you do. And then again… how often are you set to do something, and then a comment by a friend, colleague, or so-called expert has you throwing away your choice in favor of their idea?
• When you’re the sovereign, or ruler, it means you’re in charge, and you call the shots. As someone in charge of your own business, you have that by default… but, do you really? How willing are you to concede control to someone you think knows better? Do you trust your sense of where you should steer your business more than you listen to criticisms and popular trends?

Sovereignty is a process, not a concept that you grasp and then the conversation ends. Living with sovereignty means growing beyond the voices of your past that tell you it’s best not to be noticed, to be in charge, or to speak up for yourself.

Whether it’s running a business with sovereignty, owning your half of a relationship, or being taken seriously as a parent, sovereignty happens when you recognize that you deserve to occupy the space you occupy. That you have just as much a right to be heard as anyone else does. And that independent of anything else, your work, your contribution, your voice, has value.

Can you say that about your message? Your business? Yourself?

When you can, not only will you have much more peace in your heart as you work, but you’ll also be much more attractive to the patrons out there who need your work. Because deep down, we all want to feel sovereign in our own way. When you stand as a beacon of sovereignty in your life, it provides a strength of conviction that’s attractive to others, and people will come to you to learn your secret.

Image by wetsun.

When I was in my early twenties, I was learning Chinese martial arts from a Taoist teacher (known as a "Shr Fu"). In addition to teaching us how to seriously maim anyone who might want to mess with us defend ourselves, there were also some lesser publicized teachings available to the student who knew to ask.

One of those was in "bone setting", which is where I learned some very handy tricks, including how to set my (and other people’s) joints that have gotten out of whack (ankles, shoulders, wrists, fingers, etc.). Very handy to know in a pinch. Another was meditation.

Here (unlike bone setting), the instruction wasn’t all that detailed. Basically, I was told to sit, focus on a certain point in my body, and breathe. And, as best I could, empty myself of thought.

But, as anyone knows who has tried to meditate, it’s much easier said than done. I futzed through a few months of trying, but gave up not long afterward. Not surprisingly, most people I talk to about meditation have found themselves in the same boat.

Fast-forwarding a couple years, I got involved in energy healing and spiritual development, and in the school I went to, we meditated together every morning for about 45 minutes. Some were silent, and in others, we were guided through a process. And all of it was fantastic.

Having my teacher up in front of us all made it so easy to connect, to quieten, and to relax into the process.

But then, I went back home…

And again, I floundered.

Whenever we were at school, meditating became simple. On my own, though, it was a supreme challenge to stay with it for more than ten minutes.

Luckily for me, I wasn’t the only student in this situation, and we asked our teacher if we could record him leading us through a meditation session, so we could listen at home. He agreed, and the resulting tape became a well-worn favorite of mine for years. It helped me get and stay focused when I was on my own, and it made a world of difference in the depth of my meditation, and in the progress I made in developing my self-awareness.

Since that time, I’ve seen a number of "meditation aids" out there, and sampled a few myself. Once you get used to a particular audio recording, it can be a huge boon to your individual practice.

The moral of the story, of course, is to seek help when you need it. Also easier said than done at times, I realize, but consider the alternative.

Question for you: When have you tried something and floundered, and then found help from an unexpected hack? Leave a comment and share it with us.

(for those of you not-so-internet-lingo-savvy folks, a "hack" is a way of doing something that’s not typically known, or thought of, but saves your bacon big time once you’re shown what it is.)

Brand Spanking New:

I’ve just completed a set of helpful audio resources myself — but not just meditation-centered. Because there are times when meditation doesn’t float your boat, or scratch your itch; sometimes, your soul is needing a different kind of soothing. For example, you might be needing:

• a deeper sense of connection, of spiritual intimacy, of nurturing
• to clear an issue that has come up and is keeping you from feeling peaceful
• clarity about a decision you need to make, but can’t decide which path to take
• awareness about the kinds of signals you’re sending "under the radar" — but are dramatically affecting your life, your work, etc.
• to stop procrastinating and get back to productive work
• to relax, unwind, and let go of stress at the end of the day

Rather than turn to outside help, or pay for a healing/therapy session, you may want a solution that allows you to get through it on your own (and, for a lot cheaper, I might add).

Enter: Inner Peace Audio!

Inner Peace Audio is a set of seven recordings that can help you in a variety of situations… for more details about what’s included in Inner Peace Audio, click here to be taken to the just-unveiled website.

UPDATE: I’ve added (by popular request) an affiliate program to Inner Peace Audio, so if that’s your cup of tea, you’re on. The link to sign up is at the bottom of any page of the site. 

Want a podcast of this? Press play, or click here to download.

Image by 顔なし on Flickr, via Creative Commons license.

In case you haven’t seen it yet, my buddy Alex Shalman, from AlexShalman.com (Practical Personal Development), recently launched his "Happiness Project." After hearing Tim Ferriss recommend Dan Gilbert’s book, "Stumbling On Happiness" (which I read, and whose TED video I’ve set up for you at the bottom of this post), I’m very, very curious about people’s findings about one of the most sought after prizes in life: good, old-fashioned happiness.

So, I’ve accepted Alex’s proposition, and here are my answers.

1. How do you define happiness?

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Quick update: The response to the last post has been wonderful; the comments left have been broad-spectrum and a joy to read, and I even got a few responses via email, both with suggestions and sympathy.

The good news is, the question in question is resolving nicely. I shouldn’t be surprised, of course, because I’ve been around long enough to see that the Universe/Divine/Orchestrating-force-of-creation (or whatever you want to call it) has a way of sending the solutions along with the challenges, and is always more than responsive to our requests.

Not our spoken requests, of course…

… but our unspoken requests always seem to be received loud and clear, don’t they?

As the New Year approached, I made a deeply conscious decision/intention/request to face whatever I needed to face, in order to become the person I truly am. (get this: I even specifically requested to come face-to-face with whatever I need to in order to achieve my goals, to challenge assumptions and let go of conventions in the name of growth and success… talk about asking for it, eh?)

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In just about every post on Monk at Work since its inception, I’ve presented ideas, problems, concepts, and scenarios, all about ways that people (i.e. you and me) can lose sight of our hearts as we work. I’ve also done my best to provide solutions, based on my years of experience as a spiritual and energetic healer, business consultant, and teacher.

Today, however, you’ll get none of that (or, very little). Instead, today is about questions. My questions.

Because yes, I still have them. I have questions all the time, about how to do things, what to say, what to create… I have way more questions than I’ll ever have time to find solutions to, no matter how intuitive I am.

Bulldozer Questions.

Some questions are small, some are large. And some, like the one I’m dealing with right now, is huge. Gorilla-huge. Boulder-huge. Construction-equipment-huge. And as much as I don’t want to admit this to the question… I don’t have an answer for it.

But here’s the rub: When I get a question stuck in my mind that I can’t answer, it sits front and center in my consciousness, like a splinter under a toenail, unable to be ignored.

It’s rough; I can’t focus on any other work when a question sits in my mind like this. It’s like an insistent three-year-old, who just can’t understand, "not right now; can you see that Daddy’s trying to focus?" The question just keeps saying, "look, man… look at me. Look. Now. Hey, I’m talking to you. Pay attention to me. Hey. Look. Look at me, man, because I’m not going away until you do."

And so I look. And I listen. And I ask it what it wants, what the real question is. But the problem is, even when I hear the question, I have no answer for it. It’s not a question that can be answered right now, at least not with a meaningful answer.

But it doesn’t like that.

No answer is not an answer.

And so it waits, with all the patience of that three-year-old. Look. Look. Look. Look at me.

(How can I not look at you, you mean? How can I deny you, the spike in my forehead, the salt-and-lemon-juice-cocktail in the wound of my uncertainty?)

All normal thoughts of productivity go out the window in times like these. I’m forced to attempt patience, to pull all the stops out of my repertoire of self-healing techniques, and deny all my self-protective impulses that tell me to ignore it, cover it over, distract myself, and maybe, just maybe, it’ll go away on its own.

(Heck, why do you think I’m writing this — for glory? Goodness, no; hoping that writing would provide catharsis was my latest, best idea to bleed the pressure out of my mind, after a day spent tapping, talking, praying, pacing around my office, and soul-searching to the best of my ability…)

My last question — and this one’s for you:

What do you do in times like these? When you’re faced with a question, a decision, even one that isn’t formed enough that it has words yet, but you just know you have to change something… what do you do?

UPDATE: I just had to add this… my muse-of-writing, the Communicatrix, recently posted about her own travels into what I call "The Pit" — she calls it "The Black Hole." And her post also mentioned another by An Amateur’s Manifesto… both are outstanding. Highly recommended.  

Want a podcast of this? Click here.

Image by scottfeldstein on Flickr, via Creative Commons license.

And thanks to all those who commented on the previous posts so far: Matthew, Tom Volkar, Dylan

What seems like an eternity ago (but was really only last April ), I wrote about David Armano’s concept of “Sun-Shaped People“, and after getting a chance to watch him present and shake his hand at SOBCon07, I’ve been more than impressed with his uncanny ability to take tip-of-the-spear concepts that most people are just starting to wrap their heads around, and explain them—visually, no less—in ways that make you say, “oh, of course… that makes so much sense.”

Well, David has done it again. Pure brilliance.

How do you manage all the ways you could be spending your interacting-with-others-online time? You know; social media, email, blogging, posting photos of your family online, all that digital jazz. You’ve probably got lots of “channels” for interacting with the world, and if you’re like most people I’ve been in touch with lately (and tons of others), there are some channels that you subscribe to wholeheartedly, and others that may have once been important, but now are fading away.

Enter: The Social System.

Doesn’t that just make perfect sense? On his post about it, DA explains the whole thing, but I think the picture does a pretty good job on its own.

As I’ve spent more time in social media circles, and tried balancing the time that sites like Facebook require with all the other responsibilities of life, work, etc., I’m coming to see that I want a lot fewer planets in my social system than before.

Now, the time may (will) come when I need to expand this; there are strategies that require more of a presence on some planets than others, and there are some planets I’ve yet to set foot on that I know will move very close to the middle of my system, when the time is right.

My social system could go from “Me -> blog -> mastermind -> email -> Facebook -> LinkedIn” to, “Me -> blog -> StumbleUpon -> email -> mastermind -> YouTube -> VideoSticky -> Facebook”, or something like that, all depending on what’s necessary and important to my strategy.

In the meantime, though, it sure is liberating to realize that I don’t need as much interplanetary travel as I once thought… after all, it can be tiring to spend so much time on (and traveling to) all those distant planets! And that’s why I got lit up about this topic enough to write a post about it: finding the balance—in every aspect of our lives—is living “monkishly” (hey, it’s my site; I can invent a word if I like, right?). Because are we going to make the kind of impact/live the life we want if we’re spread too thin, or exhausted from doing so?

Now, two steps for you:

1) What’s your social system look like?

Don’t worry about creating a graphic (although don’t let me stop you from it, either); if it’s easier, just use the “one -> two -> three” diagram, and plot out your social system. Share it in the comments, too.

How’s it look? Is it serving you? Is it giving you enough contact with others, or too much? Or, not enough of the right kind? Make adjustments as needed; after all, you’re the creator of this universe, so make it right for you.

2) Apply the analogy elsewhere.

Where else could this kind of system-thinking help you in your life? Work projects? Family responsibilities? Home maintenance? Personal development “practices” (meditating, praying, reading/learning, service, healing)? Fitness/health?

For example, you could come up with all kinds of systems for keeping you on top of your goals, in the right proportions:

• eating healthy -> exercise 4x/week -> supplements -> bodywork
• do the dishes -> laundry -> sweep/vacuum -> mow the lawn -> clean out the gutters
• play with my kids -> read to them -> build stuff together -> take mini-vacations
• write articles -> networking -> work with clients -> write book -> joint ventures

Sky’s the limit. So, what’s in your universe(s)?

Want a podcast of this? Click here.

Image by pingnews.com on Flickr, via Creative Commons license.

And thanks to all those who commented on the previous posts so far: Karl Staib, Tshombe, Judy Murdoch, Nathan Ketsdever, MichelleVan

When you started your business, you probably had all kinds of visions of throngs of fans, mobs of people who just can’t get enough of everything you do, say, and sell. After all, you get it, right? You see the uniqueness, the specialness, and all the wonderful things about what you’re doing.

But, the question is: Do they?

To help create the bridge between what you know you have to offer and what the rest of the world sees as what you offer, here are a few major areas that, once solid, will go a long way towards bringing those throngs of fans your way.

1. Be an Attractive Person

No, you don’t have to look like Matt Damon or Jessica Biel; it’s not about that kind of attractive. It’s about being attractive in the way Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, or Nelson Mandela are attractive; they are people with such a strong inner light that they become magnetic to others. The power of their hearts drew (and continue to draw) people in… call it charisma if you like, but it’s less about your appearance and your personality as it is the (to quote MLK), “content of your character.”

2. Have a Clear, Resonant Message

Why do so many people shop at Whole Foods? Is it just because they have good produce and good presentation? Or is it because they stand for something that we can unite behind? And why was Blog Action Day so successful? Outstanding marketing? Or a Message that was so morally ubiquitous (I mean, who doesn’t love the planet?) that people signed up in droves? If the message behind your business is a clear, strong, and compelling one, people will sign up because it inspires them, it harmonizes with their values, and it makes them feel more like the person they want to be.

3. Care For Your Patrons

I know this one sounds like a “no duh!” statement, but think about it. How do you take care of your people? How do they know you care? How do you relate to people — as customers, clients, or as true patrons? Are you selling them something, providing a service for them, or championing their cause? I’m not talking about sacrificing yourself for them, but I am talking about relating to them not as peons or just cash sources, but as living, loving people with concerns, priorities, and considerations of their own.

4. Create Remarkable Experiences

For this one, you need go no further than name-dropping: Apple. Disney. IKEA. Harley-Davidson. Mini Cooper. (okay, I’ll go a little further… what do all these have in common? They create amazing experiences at every turn for their patrons. They don’t just hawk product; they craft encounters, create adventures, and promise excitement and rich experiences.)

5. Add Enormous Value To Their Lives

Think of a business that you love: now, what have they done for you? Has your life been measurably improved since you met them? My guess is that your answer is yes. If it isn’t, then I doubt you would have thought of them at all. It’s not that we love a business simply for our own self-serving reasons, but for the first four Reasons to stick, it all has to come down to a bottom line, and that’s Value (example: I don’t just love my Mac (iMac G5) because it’s gorgeous; I love it because it adds tremendous value to my work every day, by making it easy to do my work in a way that’s efficient, aesthetically pleasing, and a joy to interact with it).

Of course, each of these Reasons has a lot of nuances, strategies, and ways to implement them, but this should be enough to get your brains a’churning with ideas for revolutionizing your own business, eh? And, as always, if you’ve got ideas to share or questions to ask, that’s what the comment box is for.

Enjoy!

Image by MegElizabeth.

I love the New Year.

To tell you the truth, I don’t look forward to Christmas, Thanksgiving, or even Talk Like a Pirate Day nearly as much as I do the New Year.

It’s not about the partying on New Year’s Eve, though; I’m in bed by 11, without a firecracker lit or a drop of champagne anywhere in sight. For me, the excitement is all about the anticipation of what’s ahead.

Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something salivatory about starting a brand new year… it’s like a fresh start, a clean slate… a chance to make exciting changes in your life.

Can’t you make change anytime? Sure, but a new calendar year adds a certain “credible amnesia” to the mix… you can act as if your past doesn’t have nearly the influence on you than it does, and try to get away with it…)

Aye, there’s the rub, isn’t it?

Each time New Year’s comes around, you’ve got the best of intentions to make positive change in your life, and you rely on the hope of “credible amnesia” to give you enough of a break to escape the gravity of your habitual momentum and personal history, and really, really triumph this time.

Right? Why else would a tradition like “New Year’s Resolutions” (which have an abysmally high failure rate, rivaled only in their scope of failure by the catastrophic myth of low-fat diets) continue to survive in as widespread a way as they do?

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The new year is almost upon us… and you may be feeling completely unprepared for it. Of course, you may also be excited as a three-year-old on Christmas morning about it (something I got to witness first-hand this week).

Either way, a new year presents a wonderful opportunity. Sure, you could say it’s just another day, another week, another month. But there’s a shift that happens when a new year dawns; a hope that you can feel—and take advantage of—to make changes in the way you do things. The question then becomes: what to change?

Of course, it all depends on your priorities… and they fall in line behind your goals… which are a product of what’s important to you. To help you get a bit more clear on what’s important to you, and brainstorm a bit about possible changes to make, here are a few ideas to sit with and see what sparks your interest.

1. Redefine your targets.

What’s important to you in your life? Another way of asking that is: What are you working towards? Retirement (years from now)? Location-Independent living? A few extra trinkets for you and yours?

If you aren’t clear on what your targets are, you’ll want to take some time to think long and hard about this one. After all, it’s a big world, and the choices are limitless… you can craft your life however you want. Knowing what targets you’re aiming at influences every action, every decision, every choice that follows.

(If you haven’t yet read The Four-Hour WorkWeek, you owe it to yourself to get a hold of a copy… Tim has an eye-opening philosophy when it comes to life, as well as excellent tools to help you get clear on what you’ll need to achieve your plans.)

2. Planning sessions.

Once you’re clear on your targets, take some time to do some planning. You may want to set aside some alone time to dream, mind-map, and feel into your path. You may also want the support that a mastermind group can offer; if you don’t have a group, think about starting one. Either way, working without a plan is like driving a race car blindfolded; you’ll stand a much better chance of getting where you want to go if you can see where you’re headed.

3. Clean out your office.

Working in a space that’s bogged down with old papers, unused files, and irrelevant project materials is like taking your grandmother with you on a first date; there’s history there that’s just not helpful. Instead, clear out the clutter from your space, organize it in a way that’s productive, and freshen things up; you’ll benefit immensely from the mental space you feel.

4. Clean up your computer.

Does your desktop look like an unfinished jigsaw puzzle? Do you have scores of folders and files piling up on your hard drive, making it hard to find what you need? You can save yourself a lot of time and headaches by devoting some time to clearing out your old computer detritus. Can’t part with it? Put the stuff you aren’t sure if you’ll need or not into storage: burn some DVDs, or stash it online.

5. Paint a room, or a wall.

You’d be amazed what some color can do for you. My office is mostly green, but I’ve got one wall that’s red, and it’s amazing. New color = new life.

6. Show your gratitude and love to someone.

Maybe there’s someone in your life that you haven’t been in touch with in a while, or someone who plays a special role in your life that you haven’t shared your feelings with lately; ringing in the new year is a great reason to reach out. But it doesn’t have to be a person, either: is there an organization you’ve admired, but haven’t made contact with? It could be a humanitarian organization or an environmental group, a software company, or a non-profit that serves your area. Call them, write them, or visit. It’ll do you both a world of good.

7. Commit to your health.

As they say, “Without your health, you haven’t got anything.” So what in your routine could use some tweaking, or a complete overhaul? Your eating habits? Exercise? Sleep patterns? There’s a world of good information out there; grab a recommendation from someone who’s got the area you want to focus on dialed in, and see what you can learn. After all, none of us are getting any younger!

8. Learn something new.

There’s nothing like following a passion to learn something new to breathe new energy into your life. You can focus on anything you want… and, you may want to learn something that plays into your work; it’s up to you. Need ideas? How about a new language to expand your client base? A software program that will allow you to do all kinds of fun things with your work? Or a skill (like typing dvorak to rid yourself of RSI), or a sport (to interact with new people), or a musical instrument?

9. Lighten the weight of debt.

There’s nothing like dropping old baggage to make you feel light again… resolving to clearing up old debt is a great way to head into the new year. It doesn’t just have to be financial debt, either. If you feel an outstanding obligation in a relationship you have, or the feeling that you owe somebody for something they’ve done for you, pay it back it whatever way you can. You’ll feel so much better once you do.

10. Commit to your spiritual well-being.

Your spiritual health is a deciding factor in your enjoyment of life, your ability to be creative and spontaneous, and your sense of purpose and fulfillment. But that doesn’t mean being spiritual can’t also be a blast! Look for ways to let your spiritual connection be a source of fun, as well as an outlet for your devotional tendencies. You can try new spiritual practices, or play with ways to make your tried-and-true acts of devotion more fulfilling, more expanding, or more celebratory.

What are you going to do to get ready for 2008?

Let us know in the comments. Or, if you need some help figuring it out, ask for it in the comments, too.

Image by bingbing.

Enlightenment consists not merely in the seeing of luminous shapes and visions, but in making the darkness visible. The latter procedure is more difficult, and therefore, unpopular. – Carl Jung

When you learned to drive, you were probably taught about the evil “blind spot” — the nether region of invisible space that exists when you stare straight ahead and only use your mirrors to see the space around your car. I won’t bore you with trigonometry and the nuances of peripheral vision, but suffice it to say, given the angle of most car mirrors, each of us as we hurdle down the highway at 100 km/h (and then some) are completely unaware of the gaps of space on either side of us that you could hide a Buick in.

Scary thought, huh?

Now, much like we drive our cars, we are driving through life (ooh, that’s deep…). And it doesn’t matter if you’re driving a life that looks like an Aston Martin or an Aztek — you’ve got a blind spot. Probably several of them.

Let me take a stab at naming a few you might be familiar with: Interpersonal communication. Eating too many carbs. Gullibility. Ability to understand global economics. Sucker for a shoe sale. Accounting. Honest self-examination. Anger management. Leaving dirty dishes in the sink. For days.

But let’s not get perfectionistic, okay?

Believe me, I’m the last person who’s beyond having a few gaps in my character. And despite what your internal Judge persona might say, having gaps a good thing.

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