When it comes to making change in your life, your health, or the health of your business, the #1 item on every “Law of Attraction”-based, personal growth-oriented list is always gratitude.

Why? Because, the logic goes, when you are feeling grateful for something, you’re in a state of appreciation and happiness, which begets a greater state of happiness. The more you get accustomed to feeling good about what you have, the more you get to feel good about, and the more good you feel about what you have, and so on… it’s an ever-growing spiral.

But what if gratitude brings you down?

I have to admit, I used to resist gratitude in a huge way. Not because I have anything against showing appreciation, but because whenever I’d do a practice involving gratitude, I ended up feeling small and unhappy, which is the opposite of what it was supposed to do for me.

Not cool, I thought. Not cool.
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Why, in seemingly every tradition, are there ritual practices?

Because rituals work, that’s why. They work through repetition; through continual practice, the attentive mind learns the steps until they are memorized. Once the mind’s focus is no longer needed to complete the ritual, it goes on “auto-pilot”, and the adept can repeat the ritual and focus the mind deeper, awakening the heart/soul/whatever (depends on the ritual, of course). This allows for a much deeper level of presence to be had, transforming the result of the ritual, and the mind of the practitioner.

Or, as my martial arts teacher would say, “First, the mind teaches the body what to do. Then, the body refines the movement, teaching the mind how it wants to move. Finally, body and mind are united as one.” He also said that once you performed an action 10,000 times, you had it mastered.

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I’m always amazed when I talk with people who haven’t heard of EFT. Of course, before I heard of it, I hadn’t heard of it, either…

You’re going to hear more from me about EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), that’s for sure; I’m a huge fan, and my wife is a practitioner. Even my 8-year-old taps, on her own, whenever she’s nervous or feeling ill.

What is it?

It’s a method of healing that’s based on balancing the body’s energy system, and it gets its history in large part from Oriental medicine. No needles, though; you tap with your fingers on the same points acupuncturists put needles into. And it works for physical symptoms, emotional issues, belief systems, you name it.

I love it. And, I’m not the only one… as I understand the story, the same filmmakers who worked on The Secret were so impressed by EFT, they worked with EFT’s founder, Gary Craig, to create this video to introduce people to it:

You’ve got to watch it, it’s well worth the few minutes.

If you’re interested in learning more, and want to experience it yourself, give my wife a call. She’s amazing. And if you have experience with EFT, feel free to leave a comment so we can hear your experiences, too.

If you’ve never heard of the TED conference before, you’re in for a treat.

Every presenter at the "Technology, Entertainment, and Design" conference (which happens yearly in Monterey, California) is a thought leader, inspirational figure, or leader in their field, so watching the videos of their presentations is a great way to catch a glimpse of some very influential figures about what’s on their cutting edge. And at about twenty minutes a piece, they make for great lunchtime viewing, too…

The other day I watched Mathieu Ricard’s talk (it’s well worth the time to watch it); Ricard is a Buddhist monk of French origin who has been living in the Himalayas for at least twenty years or so now, and has earned the moniker of "world’s happiest man."

As Ricard shared about cultivating happiness through "mind training", he mentioned, almost in passing, four characteristics that caught my attention: serenity, inner strength, inner freedom, and confidence. They jumped out at me, because I felt that they were four key qualities worth pursuing in the practice of living the Monkish lifestyle.

Serenity

I’d define serenity as the experience of peace; a quietude in your being, as if you are, in body and mind, at complete rest. It doesn’t mean you aren’t in motion, it just means that whatever you’re engaged in, you’re 100% there, and not feeling pulled or pressured to be anywhere but in your moment.

Inner Strength

Strength, in my opinion, is about both power and resiliency. Chapter 76 of the Tao Te Ching states:

…softness and tenderness are attributes of life,
And hardness and stiffness, attributes of death.
Just as a sapless tree will split and decay
So an inflexible force will meet defeat.

Having the ability to marshal your inner resources when needed is one aspect of strength, and so is sovereignty. But equally important is the ability to compromise, flex, and bend with the forces of nature that we are a part of, but often forget that we aren’t separate from.

Inner Freedom

A slave is one who must act not from her own will, but at the direction of another. And while we’d all like to think of ourselves as free, how free are we? Where do you get caught in the tides of popular opinion, culture, or just plain ol’ desire for something you don’t have? When you hand the reins of your self-determination over to anything outside you, no matter how subtly, you’re giving away your inner freedom. Living free means living by a deep, inner awareness of what’s right for you in every moment.

It doesn’t mean that you aren’t open to learning from others, of course. But it does mean that you take what you get from the world around you and trust your own heart’s determination about whether or not it’s right for you. Which leads us to…

Confidence

Defined as, "belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities", the word "confidence" sources from the Latin roots con + fidere, or "with" + "trust."

Do you trust yourself? Do you trust in your own heart? Your resolve? Your commitments to the values you hold most dear, whether they’re values like compassion, love, honesty, and valor, or truth, virtue, service, and fairness?

When push comes to shove, can you rely on yourself to make the kinds of choices you know in your heart to be right?

Have you had moments like this? Would you like more of them?

With any of these characteristics, the way to cultivate them is two-fold:

1. Pursue them directly, and
2. Learn how to regain them when you lose them.

It’s great to be able to sit in a quiet place and be still; and yet, for those of us who have chosen to be a part of an active society on a daily basis, times of seclusion tend to be much less prevalent than times of immersion in the busy work-a-day world. In an environment rife with distractions, being able to regain your focus when you lose it is critical to your mental well-being.

There was a great line in Evan Almighty, where Morgan Freeman (reprising his role as God, from Bruce Almighty) said,

Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

Having time in your day to devote to spiritual practices—time when you sit in meditation, for example, to cultivate awareness and inner quiet—is essential… and, so is the active practice of regaining your calm when life’s events draw you away from it.

For example, being able to stop your cycles of emotional over-reaction, and eventually diffuse them altogether, is just as important—or more important, some might say—as time spent in direct pursuit of serenity through sitting quietly and learning to quiet your thoughts.

How? Well, there are a lot of methods out there: EFT, Sedona method, the Work, Doyletics, NLP, Hypnosis, you name it… I’ve tried a bunch of them, and there are many I haven’t tried… but less important than having a multitude of methods, I believe, is to have one or two that you’re fluent in, and can use when you need them.

The trick, of course, is consistency in using them, though, isn’t it? How many methods of personal healing do you know or have you tried? And how often do you use them? My guess is that you’d agree that the more you practice, the easier it becomes, and, the more likely you are to use them to get you through the rough spots in your life.

Why not get (back) into the habit of cultivating Ricard’s four qualities in your life, starting today?

Image by by GNU license via Wikipedia