Want to know the reason? The way most people do it, it’s boring as hell.

Let me ask you this: are you strapping yourself onto the same machine as the day before, hitting the same buttons you did the day before, and doing the same workout you did the day before? And where did this workout come from?

I’ll bet you it came from one of these three sources:

• an article in a magazine,
• it’s what the person behind the desk showed you on your tour when you signed up, or
• it’s what everyone else is doing.

Most people copy others because they have no idea what to do, and figure that if it’s good for the gander, it’ll be good enough to get their goose in gear, too.

We progress when we learn...

The problem with this is obvious.

How many of the people on the elliptical machines at your gym look and perform the way you wish you could? Not many, at my gym.

At the gym I work out at, between two and ten people inhabit the ellipticals, treadmills, and step-bike-contraptions every morning… and then there’s me, over in the free weight area. Alone.

And you know how much better those two to ten people look today, compared to when I joined, a year and a half ago? None. Some even look worse.

But, I’ve lost 15 20 pounds, and I’m strong as two of my former selves put together. I barely recognize my own muscles in the mirror. Oh, I’m not going to win any contests, and I rarely even turn a head these days (blame it on being “follicularly challenged”, 38 years old, and not particularly broad-shouldered), but I’ll be damned if I don’t have muscles in places I never knew I could.

Now, am I particularly gifted? Special? Is my uncle Jack LaLanne or something? Heck no… I’m a reformed fat kid from a sedentary family who’s had to work at it all my life. But, I’ve got one thing that many people don’t display much of, at least when it comes to the gym: a willingness to learn.

You Gotta Keep On Stepping

I got fascinated by the human body, and what it’s capable of, when I was fifteen years old. Maybe it was because I resembled a human jello mold, and athletes are just so… athletic… but I was hooked. I read everything I could get a hold of in the pre-information age, which meant I read Arnold’s Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding from cover to cover three times a week.

I knew when I was 16 that I wanted to open a gym someday. I went to college, not really knowing what I was doing there, but lucky for me, UC San Diego had a small Physical Education department in those days, and I was able to squeak out a minor in PhysEd before the department got budget-cut. Somewhere along the line I talked myself out of the gym-ownership idea, but stayed active (after losing 35 pounds my senior year of high school, I bounced around a few collegiate sports, like water polo and rowing, and then played a few sports recreationally and exercised solo after that), and kept studying.

I took some amazing classes, read some amazing books, and tried some amazing (and not so amazing) workout routines, until finally landing on CrossFit.com in October of 2007. I’ve been glued to the CF community ever since, and I still feel like a rank beginner at times. (And yes, my goal of opening my own gym is back on. Look out, baby.)

To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping. — Chinese proverb 

Sheeple no more!

Bottom line: You’ve got to take responsibility for your progress, or lack thereof.

In any aspect of your life, be it fitness, business, relationships, or whatever, if you aren’t learning, you’re standing still. Now, if you’re happy with the level you’ve reached, that’s fine… but if you recognize that your journey isn’t over yet, then it’s time to get busy.

Whenever you think you’ve stopped learning, it’s all over; remember that! — James Fitzgerald, aka OPT

If there’s anything I want you to take away from this post, it’s this: You are capable of much more than you think you are. What does that mean, practically speaking? It means that if you aren’t happy with your bodyfat percentage, or your current vocation, or the way you speak to your kids, then do something about it!

Start reading. Subscribe to feeds, newsletters, and podcasts. Take a class. Interview someone who knows what you want to know (it has been my experience that most people are glad to share what they know, if you only ask). Volunteer.

And if you come up to me at the gym and ask me how to squat, I’ll grin wider than a giraffe and be happy to teach you. I guarantee it’ll be fun, as well as hard… although I’ll probably talk your ear off, too, about why the elliptical machine sucks, so be ready.

Image (of my friend Amie!) by greg westfall

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2009. | Permalink | 8 comments

Now, don’t be afraid of fear—that’s a scary thought!—just learn to recognize it for what it is.

And now, on with our story.

The search for inner peace led John to a group of other like-minded people who also saught the same thing, all rallied around a teacher who demonstrated some very successful techniques to help his students find and experience that peace. As the group grew, the teacher realized that he must establish a “method”, so others could teach the work as well. After all, what good would it do unless a means could be identified? And so, this method became concretized, shared, and taught to many more seekers of peace.

John, who believed the methods and the community around it to be the best thing he’d ever seen, became a teacher of this system. He taught others the methods, used them himself, and his life got better.

But then, a shadow began to grow…

As the organization grew, John started to see a resistance to new input and ideas. The results of what was once an “open spirit of exploration” began to become doctrine. Legends began to permeate the group, telling of the brilliance—nay, the infallibility—of the leaders, and the miracles they performed on a regular basis. The method became dogma, and those who challenged it were outcast.

John began to become disillusioned with his teacher, the methods, and the organization. He saw brilliant, dedicated teachers ostracized because they spoke out in opposition to the leaders. He watched as the methods became stale, outdated, and both inflexible in their approach and limited in their application and efficacy.

And so, John left.

History has a way of repeating itself, doesn’t it?

After a time of introspection and idea gathering, John decided to follow a different life-long passion, changing professions and moving on with his life. He trained, he learned, and he worked, and he was happy.

Eventually he came across another community, steeped in the pursuit of the same passions as he, and once again he found himself feeling at home. But as John grew, developed his talents, and learned more, he began to hear stories of disgruntled members within the community that seemed to be having experiences that mirrored his past. John began to question his involvement in the community after seeing the same kinds of rigidity and fear creeping into the organization.

Too bad I’m not Mother Goose.

Now, wouldn’t it be nice if this were a fairy tale, with a beginning and an end, neatly tied up in a bow of clear-cut morals and easily deciphered lessons? Maybe it would. But life isn’t a storybook fable, and rarely are decisions as easy to make as they might appear. Black-and-white quickly turns to grey in the real world.

Like yours, the ending of John’s story isn’t yet written. He can’t see the end, doesn’t know how things will turn out, and can’t rely on a crystal ball, fairy godmother, or all-seeing wizard. He, like you, has to make decisions based on heart, head, and gut.

But he, like you, can choose how to respond to life’s events proactively rather than reactively, based on principles and decisions about how he wants to live his life.

Looking at the experiences of his life, and the examples of those leaders John sees around him, he comes to a few conclusions:

• when you become afraid to challenge the status quo, you stagnate.
• if you aren’t willing to sacrifice your conclusions in favor of new evidence that contradicts it, then you’ve stopped learning.
• resist the temptation to label those who express deviation as deviants.
• there is strength and safety in numbers… but there is also a greater propensity for delusion (aka “groupthink.”)

Charles Du Bos had it right when he said,

The important thing is this: To be ready at any moment to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.

Because when your status, income, and success depend on you being what you’ve built, it’s scary to let it go. That fear drives irrational decisions.

However, another choice exists.

Look around you at examples of personal excellence. They may be a little less obvious, and thus a bit harder to find, than the grand commercial successes that so often get the publicity, but they’re there. They aren’t always mutually exclusive, of course, but the popular vote doesn’t always reward excellence (at least not right away).

Of course, these measures are largely subjective, because your criteria for excellence may be different than the next person’s, but since we’re talking about John, here , we’ll share the traits he feels are indicative of personal integrity:

• humility. (Confucius said, “Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.”)
• willingness to abandon what you’ve known for what you know is right.
• an enduring quest for greater growth and understanding.

Rabindranath Tagore said it well:

Truth comes as conqueror only to those who have lost the art of receiving it as friend.

Because when you realize that your status, income, and success can also truly depend on what you stand for, it doesn’t make change any less scary, but it can make it liberating.

How to avoid the crumbling of your own empire

There’s a great analogy that I’m sure you’ve heard, which likens people to buses: Each of us has a number of personalities, emotions, and voices within us. What makes the difference in how we live is which one we let control us, i.e. “drive our bus.”

I said in the beginning that I believe fear to be the driving force behind every bad decision we ever make. That doesn’t make fear “bad”, of course; it’s a necessary part of who we are, and most of us wouldn’t survive long without it. Just don’t let it drive the bus when it shouldn’t be.

When fear drives the bus, we lose perspective. Input we should be open to gets shut out, and we get rigid and inflexible in our thinking, if not more.

So, when something comes along that gets your knickers up in knots, ask yourself, “Is it my fear that is creating this situation, or is this a genuine threat?” And if you’re having a hard time figuring it out, see if you can discern what your reasoning is telling you is at stake. If you “give in”, what does it mean for you? Loss of face? More work? Or something real?

Growing something—anything—is a process that will take you and your beliefs to task more than you’d expect. But, if you can remain true to the values you started with, even in the face of your greatest demons, you can far exceed your wildest expectations, and be proud of what you accomplish.

Image by h.koppdelaney.

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2009. | Permalink | 4 comments

But being the between-the-lines kinda guy that I am, I wanted to answer the question not with three answers, but with one. And so naturally, my answer was “CrossFit.”

Now, I never would have answered that question with any other fitness/exercise/sport that I’ve done (except maybe Nomadics), and I’ve done tons: intercollegiate rowing, yoga (bikram’s, ashtanga, hatha), triathlons, tai chi, full-contact martial arts, bodybuilding, you name it. Why?

Because you’ve got to embrace the suck.

Jon Gilson of Again Faster says it excellently in this must-read article:

When the knurling scrapes your shins, and your traps bunch into knots, you’ll make a decision, one that will affect every aspect of your life. Give in to the agony, and you will always give in. Cave to demands that crush you, and you’ll always cave. Roll to the floor, and you’ll always exist beneath those who choose to stand.

In order to make it through gruesome ordeals, you have to find a place in yourself that wants to overcome. Rising up to meet a challenge, toughing it out when high tide comes your way, and gritting your teeth and not giving up are the price of admission to success.

When you dig deep and muster up a performance that you weren’t sure you had in you, that teaches you something. It teaches you that you are strong, that you can withstand Shakespeare’s “slings and arrows”, and that your character, being what it is, is sufficient to the task.

“Embracing the suck,” then, is the hallmark of a champion. If you can look at a challenge, know it’s going to bite you in the ass, and still get yourself up to the starting line, then you’re playing the game for real.

You may not like it, but it’s true.

I know this may not sit well in today’s personal growth culture, where you can’t take a strong stance without the words compassion! and empathy! being hissed at you like you’re a demonic drill sergeant, just waiting to pound anything soft within range into cold, hard submission.

Now, before you write me off as a heartless bastard, know that I fully understand the roles of compassion, empathy, and proper timing. Too much, too fast, and you’ll burn out your engine, whether it’s your physical engine or your spiritual one. There are times when pushing means pushing too hard, and you do need to back off and give yourself a break.

But if you’re always giving yourself a break, and don’t have a mechanism in place that will take you past your comfort zones, you’ll never grow. And in my estimation, that would be worse than having never pushed too far.

It doesn’t have to be CrossFit, of course.

I’m not saying CrossFit is the only way. I’m not saying the path of the heart doesn’t have a thousand manifestations. And I’m not saying that there’s any one way to truth.

I am saying, though, that you have to find a way to go beyond who you’ve been. And in the rounded-corner world that most of us live in, there are precious few opportunities to see the kind of person you are, and forge yourself into something more.

And personally, I happen to love physical exercise. I love the movement of muscle and bone, the expression of intention through physical activity, and the grace and poise that athletics can bring to its devotees. Maybe it’s because I grew up overweight and sedentary for so many years that I’ve come to appreciate the joy of feeling my body do what it can. I don’t need to ruminate on it anymore, honestly, trying to find a concise “why”; it’s a joyous, happy part of my life, one that I’m immensely grateful for.

Again, from Jon Gilson’s article,

Remember that the walls of the gym are nothing more than physical barriers, meant only to separate us from the elements. What you do within those walls will echo in your daily life, and you would do well to choose your actions wisely.

And that’s just it, isn’t it?

What you do in one area of your life echoes through the rest of it, doesn’t it? You can’t compartmentalize anything. It all plays together, it all makes a difference, and it all matters.

How you rest is how you eat is how you work is how you dream is how you love. What you bring to one, you bring to another.

Image by Malingering.

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2009. | Permalink | 5 comments