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How To Escape The Gratitude Trap

Gratitude is the key
When it comes to making change in your life, your health, or the health of your business, the #1 item on every “Law of Attraction”-based, personal growth-oriented list is always gratitude.

Why? Because, the logic goes, when you are feeling grateful for something, you’re in a state of appreciation and happiness, which begets a greater state of happiness. The more you get accustomed to feeling good about what you have, the more you get to feel good about, and the more good you feel about what you have, and so on… it’s an ever-growing spiral.

But what if gratitude brings you down?

I have to admit, I used to resist gratitude in a huge way. Not because I have anything against showing appreciation, but because whenever I’d do a practice involving gratitude, I ended up feeling small and unhappy, which is the opposite of what it was supposed to do for me.

Not cool, I thought. Not cool.
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Put The Power Of Ritual To Work For You

Chanting monk

Why, in seemingly every tradition, are there ritual practices?

Because rituals work, that’s why. They work through repetition; through continual practice, the attentive mind learns the steps until they are memorized. Once the mind’s focus is no longer needed to complete the ritual, it goes on “auto-pilot”, and the adept can repeat the ritual and focus the mind deeper, awakening the heart/soul/whatever (depends on the ritual, of course). This allows for a much deeper level of presence to be had, transforming the result of the ritual, and the mind of the practitioner.

Or, as my martial arts teacher would say, “First, the mind teaches the body what to do. Then, the body refines the movement, teaching the mind how it wants to move. Finally, body and mind are united as one.” He also said that once you performed an action 10,000 times, you had it mastered.

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I Was Going To Write About SOBCon, but…

gratitude is the key

This past weekend I attended SOBCon08 (the Successful and Outstanding Bloggers Conference) in Chicago, and today I had planned to write all about it. There were some fantastic messages shared, I made some great new friendships, lots of new connections, and had a blast with everyone I met.

Of course, writing about it was what I was going to do today, but… on the way home from dropping off my rental car, we had a tire blow up on the interstate. Knock on wood, we were fine, although the wheelwell got a bit ripped up when the tire’s tread flew off.

And, knock on wood, even though there were a bunch of cars around us, there were no collisions, no problems (except ours)… everyone was fine.

And, knock on wood, the tire actually still worked! The tread blew clear off, but the rest stayed on and inflated, so we could actually limp along in the shoulder until the next off-ramp. (And no, it wasn’t a retreaded tire… the guy at the tire shop said that what happened really shouldn’t have happened. But, of course, it did, so it just goes to show that improbable things actually happen all the time, just in case those of you out there with 100% normal lives were wondering.)

And, amazingly, we were able to drive on the busted-up tire all the way into the next town (over 10 miles), and then into the next town—ours—without incident. Why so far? There’s only one tire place on the way, and they didn’t have one in our size (it’s a truck tire shop, primarily). The shredded tire held its air for one last journey, and we made it all the way to Bob’s Tire Service

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Gratitude Friday :: Simplicity, Shouts, and Sound

It's Gratitude Friday!Every Friday is Gratitude Friday here at Monk at Work — a chance for me to express my gratitude to sources of richness I’m experiencing, with the intention of sharing the wealth.

Keeping it Simple

We’re heading into Washington, D.C. this weekend to visit with some old friends from Florida, who will be there for a conference. So, I’m keeping Gratitude Friday simple today, because I still need to pack up!

So, some thanks, shout-outs, and such:

Wendy Piersall at eMoms at home, for live blogging at BlogHer this past weekend, for those of us who couldn’t be there. She shares some great pearls of wisdom along with her ebullient personal take on the presentations… go see for yourself.

Edward Mills of Evolving Times, both for his Law of Attraction blog carnival celebration, and for recording an interview on the use of Law of Attraction teachings for business and personal success for my Business is Personal course, which starts next week (hint, hint).

Phil Gerbyshak at Make It GREAT! for pointing his readers towards my "Viverati.com. I had fun writing that one, and I’m glad to see people are enjoying it.

And, of course…

I’m really grateful for the people I’m meeting and the relationships that are being forged through Monk at Work. If I hadn’t started this adventure in blogging, I doubt I ever would have met these fantastic people, and I’m really grateful for their presence in my life.

As my good friend Dawud Miracle always says, it’s about the relationships. And as you can see by my inspirations of gratitude this week, it’s all about people.

The Poetry Bug

You may not know this about me, but my degree in college was in writing; specifically, poetry and short fiction. And yet, I’ve been out of the poetry loop for a while… but this past week, it’s been circling back around into my life again in some interesting ways.

What kicked it all off was the poetry of Rives, from the TED conference I mentioned in last week’s Gratitude Friday.

So today, I’m going to leave you in Rives‘ hands, for a four-minute poetic tribute that always touches me on a very deep level every time I watch it. (He’s got more, too, if you click over to the TED site.)

Have a great weekend — and what are you grateful for?

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Gratitude Friday :: All Around The Virtual World

It's Gratitude Friday!Every Friday is Gratitude Friday here at Monk at Work — a chance for me to express my gratitude to sources of richness I’m experiencing, with the intention of sharing the wealth.

Changing the World

This was a real eye-opening week for me, when it comes to ideas. I followed a recommendation on Netflix and watched “The Future We Will Create: Inside the World of TED”, TED being the “Technology Entertainment Design” conference held every year in Monterey, California.

TEDBut don’t let the strange title confuse you; this was a great documentary about a fantastic group of visionaries who come together every year to share ideas, join resources, and make amazing things happen for the betterment of the world. It was pretty darn inspiring.

The talks of all the speakers are up at ted.com, and here’s one that really got my juices flowing, by Alex Steffen of worldchanging.com:

One of my favorite moments comes near the end, when Alex says, “The tools we use to change the world ought to be beautiful in themselves.”

(If you’re on Facebook (I am), there’s even a TED group to check out…)

Free Music!


And speaking of expanding your horizons, I found a very interesting music site, called eMusic. I found some great world music, some real off-the-beaten-path kinda stuff, that I haven’t seen anywhere else before (they’ve got all genres, not just international…) And check this out: “Any new customer has up to 14 days to download 25 MP3s, absolutely free of charge.” Cool, huh? Go check them out and get your 25 free songs, it’s pretty cool. (Normally, their songs are about $0.33 each, so they’re a great find.)

Great people, great sites, great causes

Continuing my trip around the virtual world, I got introduced to some great bloggers and sites this week, which is always one of the greatest things about what I do.

Rosa Say of Managing with Aloha
Anna Talerico of No More Landing Pages and Ion Interactive
Siona
at Zaadz (And if you’re into Zaadz and Facebook, there’s a Zaadz Facebook group, too)
Valeria Maltoni of Conversation Agent
ZeroFootprint
(and their Facebook group)

Images by me, TED, and emusic.

And thanks to all those who commented on the previous post so far: Dailytri, Jean Browman, Stuart Baker

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Gratitude Friday :: "The 3 R's" — Reading, 'Riting, and Rip Van Winkle

It's Gratitude Friday!Every Friday is Gratitude Friday here at Monk at Work — a chance for me to express my gratitude to sources of richness I’m experiencing, with the intention of sharing the wealth.

Well, I’m still reading Dan Pink’s and Tim Ferriss’ books, and loving them. I’ll have to do fuller reviews when I’m done, because there are amazing points in each one that really warrant more attention. For now, I’ll just say that I’m getting great inspiration from each one, and I highly recommend them:

A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, by Dan Pink

Four Hour Workweek, by Tim Ferriss

Also, I’m a big fan of clarity (in case you couldn’t tell), and that includes using tools like dictionaries and thesauri when I write. I’ve gotten in the habit of using dictionary.com and thesaurus.com, but every time I want to search for something, I have to go into my browser, start typing the URL until the auto-complete pops up, erase the search term, and hit enter. Long process, but worth it.

cleverkeys.gifHowever, I just found out that Clever Keys has built very cool tools that let you search words on them very, very easily, by installing an option in your contextual menu that lets you access them with one-click (check out the screenshot, on the right). (it sounds technical, but it’s really one of those one-click installs, I promise)

They’re free, and they have Mac and Windows versions. Thanks guys!

And like I mentioned in the last Gratitude Friday, we got hooked up with highspeed internet once again, and it’s wonderful (I feel like Rip Van Winkle, waking up from a two-year sleep). Cool thing: I’m now using Skype for my phone service — and saving almost 90% off my previous phone bill. Amazing, huh?

Skype MeSo, my phone number has changed (it’s on the contact page), and you’re welcome to Skype me as well. Hooray for technology!

Have a great weekend, and, what are you grateful for this week?

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Gratitude Friday :: Highspeed, Liz Strauss, and more

It's Gratitude Friday!Every Friday is Gratitude Friday here at Monk at Work — a chance for me to express my gratitude all the sources of richness I’m experiencing, with the intention of sharing the wealth.

First off, you’ll notice that there aren’t too many posts between the last Gratitude Friday and this one… and for good reason. It’s been a bit all-over-the-place for me this week, although in all good ways (and I’m grateful for that!).

The SimpsonsAfter being marooned on the desert island of dial-up since leaving Florida and moving to this hamlet in West Virginia, we got highspeed hooked up on Wednesday. I’m all grins… and, watching a bit more YouTube than I probably should. (And for the 3.55% of you who are still on dialup, I’ll never forget you!)

I’ve also been blessed with the opportunity to work with Liz Strauss, of Successful Blog, to hone Monk at Work’s message, and I’m immensely grateful (it’s a strange thing; to have something that you do for others, but can’t do for yourself no matter how hard you try.) And because of that, I’ve been a bit internal, trying to let the clarity integrate and settle. (more about this soon, I promise…)

I would like to thank all my email newsletter subscribers who replied to my question about the format change… so far, the poll is tied, so if you’ve got an opinion, please weigh in!

Other spots of gratitude:

  • Tim Ferriss’ blog, for new ways of looking at life
  • Dan Pink, same reason
  • Ankesh Kothari at BlogClout, because I’m now using two WordPress plugins of his
  • and for all the people writing “Learning Edge” posts (I’ll be doing a follow-up on it next week)

What are you grateful for this week?

Images by me and Twentieth Century Fox.

And thanks to all those who commented on the previous post so far: Joanna Young, Jean Browman, Slade, dailytri, Patricia, Judy Murdoch

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Gratitude Friday :: Learning, Wiggity Bang, and more

It's Gratitude Friday!Every Friday is Gratitude Friday here at Monk at Work — a chance for me to express my gratitude to you, and other sources of richness in my life, with the intention that we all benefit, enjoy our work to the fullest, and receive more wonderfulness!

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

— Albert Schweitzer

Maybe it was the Learning Edge meme (which is spreading far and wide, thank you all!), but I feel as if I’m on a learning elevator right now — all kinds of areas of my business learning are exploding, and it’s a blast. Big thanks to everyone discussing the landing page revolution, as well as to Dawud and my wife, Laila, for engaging in conversation with me about so many things.

Thanks to Christine Kane for releasing another free song — you rock!

WiggityBang!I’m in gratitude to LinkedIn, because I got reconnected this week with two old buddies from college because I saw one of their listings: Robb Earnest and Matt Rivaldi, the owners of Wiggity Bang Games (makers of Quelf) — I know what I’m giving as Christmas gifts this year!

And one last gratitude shout goes out to the Creator of all things, because it’s summer — and that means it’s watermelon season. (The monk loves himself some watermelon, lemme tell ya.)

What are you grateful for this week?

Image by me (thanks to my mom, who drew the monks, and to Adobe, for supplying the font).

And thanks to all those to commented on my previous post so far: Edward Mills, Mark Silver, Judy Murdoch, Tasnim, Joanna Young, Jocelyn, Jean Browman, Dylan Emrys, Kathy M., Jennifer Hoffman, Karin H.

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Gratitude Friday :: Birthdays, Books, and Babies

It's Gratitude Friday!Wendy Piersall (everyone’s favorite eMom) encouraged me to start a weekly series here, and given my Learning Edge is about exploring the Law of Attraction, I figured I’d take one of LoA’s key principles (which is also one of Sufism’s key principles), and create “Gratitude Fridays.”

Every Friday I’ll post about the things that are inspiring my heart with gratitude, from all areas of my life, including relationships and resources that you may find useful. My intent is that it becomes a way to increase the joy and richness in your life as well as mine.

Ingratitude reveals ignorance,
and the friends of truth are truly thankful.
— Shabistari

With no further ado…

Char P. of Essential Keystrokes is celebrating her “blogging birthday” this week, and giving away a bunch of gifts in the process — including a subscription to my Inner Audio Series, which I’m very grateful for. (Char also joined in Hilda Carrol’s music meme, recently, just like I did; she’s a fellow music lover, so her post is well worth the read).

My good friend Dawud Miracle is joining Wendy Piersall at eMoms at Home — he’ll be a regular voice over there, bringing his perspective as an eDad to the mix. I’m grateful all around for both of them and all of us, and I’m excited to see what will flow from their partnership.

Edward Mills of Evolving Times wrote a great article about the difference between “telling” and “showing” when it comes to the Law of Attraction — very, very meaty and rich. Thanks for the article, Ed.

All The Tea In China, by Jeremy HaftAnd, I won a book this week from In Bubble Wrap, called “All The Tea In China” — how cool is that? In Bubble Wrap gives away free business books just about every day, no strings attached, which is something I know a lot of people are grateful for. Check ‘em out. Can you believe it? The day I blog about IBW, they close up shop. I just went over to see what the book of the day is, and I find a notice that he’s packing it in. Good news, though: he says everyone who enters the final drawing (which will be up until July 6, he says) will get a book. Which book, who knows; but a book it will be. Act now, or forever hold your peace.

And to round out the list, one of our good friends, Penelope Melas (wife of Greg Lee, owners of Two Frogs Healing Center, where my wife is going to be teaching a workshop on defeating your sugar cravings in July), had a baby girl early Thursday morning. Congratulations, Lee family!

What are you grateful for this week?

Images by me and Amazon.

And thanks to all those to commented on my previous post so far: Liz Strauss, Jayne

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