Like a baby bird chirping desperately for its mother’s return to the nest to bring the food that will keep it alive, there is a yearning that lives within you, and it calls incessantly. It can be satiated with the smallest of moments, and it has a camel’s resistance to thirst, but if you ignore it too long, it will shrivel and die.

And as it does, color will fade from your world. Meaning will ebb away, enjoyment will wither, and you’ll sit around trying to remember a time in your life when richness existed. You’ll get dry, stiff… and when you hardly recognize the crusty you that you’ve become, you’ll chalk it up to being busy. Or being a parent. Or being a professional. Or getting older.

But it has nothing to do with any of those things.

The Urgent Call is your spirit’s need for connection. Like the migrating herds of the plains of Africa, who travel thousands of miles every year in search of life-giving food and water, your spirit has an essential drive to feel its connection to all around it. It’s the reason we seek community. It’s the reason we search for purpose and meaning in life. It’s the reason we feel better when we’re on a spiritual path, and it’s the reason that it doesn’t really matter what path that ends up being.

What matters is that you connect.
What matters is the Urgent Call gets listened to.
It doesn’t matter how your Urgent Call gets fulfilled, only that it does.

Mind Schmind

Oh, sure, your rational mind wants to be right, it wants everything to make logical sense, and it wants reasoning to explain your beliefs. And those things are fine… for the mind. But the Call doesn’t need those things (which is why it’s doubted and ridiculed so often); the Call just needs connection.

The evidence for this is that this post makes sense to you. Logically? Reasonably? Heck no. Your left brain probably doesn’t have a clue in hell what I’m talking about, and it’s going a little nutso trying to figure out where this is going, matching patterns and looking for a logical conclusion. In fact, it’s probably liking this little explanation, because it can understand it. “Ahh,” it says, “I’m feeling much more comfortable now that you’re speaking my language.”

Left brain loves that this post is probably going to talk about life purpose, or pursuing your passions, or finding what juices you up and going for it. It’s hoping that I’m going to end this post with a three- or five-step process, a witty conclusion, or steps to finding your personal mission statement.

Hey, left brain: F off. This is not for you.

This is for the part of you that cries at sentimental commercials. It’s for the part of you that honors the life and struggle of the smallest spider crawling up your wall. It’s for the part of you that totally gets fed by a moving musical performance, a selfless act of service, or a hug.

If you aren\'t seeing the embedded video, click here to view.

It’s for the part of you that can have all the material things you want in this world, have a great job, eat fabulous food, vacation regularly, drive an expensive car, want for nothing… and still want. Here’s a tip: it’s not the stuff of this world that answers your Urgent Call… it’s the space between the stuff. More accurately, it’s that the space gets seen, felt, and honored.

One moment of touch can do it. One breath of togetherness. One searching call into the great unknown, and the guaranteed answer that returns. Sure, you have to be open to calling, and be open to receive the answer, but it only takes a drop of connection for the momentum of your life to turn around and point you back on the road to fulfillment.

If you’ve been feeling empty lately, as if the world has gone gray-scale, or that you’re just missing something, then now you know what you need to do. Stop looking outside. Stop looking for things to stuff into the hole, because no amount of Dolce & Gabbana, Crate & Barrel, or Ben & Jerry’s is going to do the trick this time. You’re going to have to quiet your mind, stop listening to the fluff, and listen to the essential, the primordial, the ancient.

Make the Call. It’s the only thing that’s going to work.

Image by ~MVI~.

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2009. | Permalink | 5 comments

Why, in seemingly every tradition, are there ritual practices?

Because rituals work, that’s why. They work through repetition; through continual practice, the attentive mind learns the steps until they are memorized. Once the mind’s focus is no longer needed to complete the ritual, it goes on “auto-pilot”, and the adept can repeat the ritual and focus the mind deeper, awakening the heart/soul/whatever (depends on the ritual, of course). This allows for a much deeper level of presence to be had, transforming the result of the ritual, and the mind of the practitioner.

Or, as my martial arts teacher would say, “First, the mind teaches the body what to do. Then, the body refines the movement, teaching the mind how it wants to move. Finally, body and mind are united as one.” He also said that once you performed an action 10,000 times, you had it mastered.

Clearly, rituals rock. In disciplines such as spirituality, or martial arts, that’s a no-duh statement. But what about in your work day? Do you have rituals?

If you answered no, allow me to differ. Uh, email? Twitter? Checking your voice mail?

And those are just the ubiquitous ones… depending on what line of work you’re in, you’ve probably got a bunch more. Here are some of mine:

• Health: CrossFit, 4-5 days a week. And if you think CrossFit doesn’t count as a ritual, you don’t know CrossFitters! We check the Workout of the Day (WOD) religiously, the star-performers of CrossFit are like heroes, and we read the CrossFit Journal like it’s a holy text. Trust me; don’t get in between a CrossFitter and his/her workout.
• Personal Growth: I have a set of practices I do regularly designed to enhance my sense of connection, develop my focus, and keep me moving towards the future I envision. These include gratitude, visualization, self-healing, and more (I’ll be sharing more about this as time goes on, in case anyone’s curious…).
• Business: I write, tweet, and email, like many do. I also regularly search for web design and development knowledge, reading feeds of favorite designers and design compendiums, investigating WordPress plugins and theme developments, etc.

There are more, of course, but you get the idea.

In my mind, these all qualify as rituals, because the more I do them, the more aware I am of the effects of the practice themselves, and the more I transform as a person through doing them (yes, even through Twitter). They make me better at what I do, of course… but it would be easy to do any of these and not get the same benefits.

What makes the difference? Intention. Have the intention to carry your focus and presence deeper as you do your daily rituals, and see what happens. If you’ve never thought of your work as potential for ritual before, take a moment and reflect on your day… where does this idea of ritual make perfect sense?

Some days are just meh.

Of course, some days you’re on, and some days you aren’t. Some days, email is just email. Meditation is just sitting there. Chanting is just mindless blather. After all, I’m no Master Oogway, either.

But that’s not a deficiency in the ritual, it’s a lack of intention and presence. Any regular activity can be transformed into ritual with the proper mindset.

So, if you notice yourself out of the groove one day, you’ve got a choice: Hop back up into the saddle, or let it go, and just be where you’re at (that’s called ‘acceptance’). There’s always another day.

What rituals do you use?

Image by moriza.

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2009. | Permalink | 9 comments

L-R: Kane, me, Cree, Garrett

No exploding tires, no big catastrophe this time, don’t worry.

But I had it in mind to write a great review of what happened at SOBCon08, and then I thought—especially in light of all the great reviews being posted out there—would that really be helpful? Would it help you to hear about the things I did, the food I ate, the people I talked to, and the sights I saw on my trip to Chicago this month?

No, not really. It probably wouldn’t. (Other than to give you social proof that SOBCon is great, and you should really go next year if you’re even at all curious.)

So, what would benefit you?

1. I had a great time. Now you can be happy for me (thanks).
2. It was a great catalyst for a number of decisions I needed to make, and you’ll be hearing about the fruits of those decisions very, very soon.
3. It reinforced for me the importance of friendship, community, and why it’s so great to go to events like this.

Because the information I heard was great, but it didn’t make as large an impact on me as when I went last year. At SOBCon07, I had been blogging about three weeks… so the information presented blew me away. Everything that anyone said was so helpful, so new, so eye-opening.

But this time, with a year of blogging behind me (never liked the whole ‘under my belt’ metaphor), it was the people I met and hung out with that really made the event. Last year’s connections and friendships got renewed and deepened, and I got to meet a bunch of new people, too. I even got to hug a few fabulous people I’ve known from across the world, and met face-to-face with for the first time.

And, true, I made some great business connections, too. It turns out that quite a few people are in need of a WordPress-based webdesigner, or know people who are, and so I ran out of business cards before too long (a problem I’m happy to have). And, it was the first time I’ve really been at a public event since making the transition to full-time webdesign work, and it felt good to call myself a webdesigner, and not have to try to explain all kinds of esoteric, spiritual-intuitive stuff. (And, admittedly, it was great to be with other web-and-blog-savvy folks, so I didn’t just have to say, “I make websites…”)

In the week or so since being in Chicago, what I think back on the most was the time spent laughing, talking, eating, walking, and shmoozing with the wonderful people. As someone who works alone, at home, 99% of the time, having a chance to “press the flesh” (and I mean that in the cleanest of ways) with friends and colleagues is indispensable.

Relationships are the cornerstone of what makes life juicy, I believe.

• Looking at it in a worldly way, you could say that life isn’t made by the stuff we have, or the things we do, but by the lives we touch and the hearts we influence and are influenced by. Some of the best moments in our lives are the ones involving other people, and the deep, meaningful connections we have with them.
• Looking at it in a spiritual way, you could say (as many have and do) that we are all One. That at our core, we are all connected by the spirit that enlivens and interpenetrates everything… and the more connection we experience, the more fulfilling and meaningful our lives become. And the more we interact and relate with people, given the right intention, the more we realize this.

Of course, these are two perspectives that start where they start and meet in the middle, but I find that to be indicative of most truths. The more you look at it, the more you see the same thing being said, just from different angles.

And so, it turns to you

What’s your social situation like? Are you normally alone, or saturated by contact? And because both are important for all kinds of reasons, we each need strategies to get the right balance of what we need, when we need it, of course… but just so we don’t make this too cumbersome a conversation, let’s focus on the get-you-more-people-time side, for now (we’ll get into the get-you-more-alone-time side later.)

What do you do to get more people-time?

Image of “The Cool Table” by me. L-R: Christine Kane, me, Chris Cree, Chris Garrett.

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2008. | Permalink | 7 comments

Cronfeld

Yesterday I talked about a system of fitness called CrossFit, to help make the point of General Work Preparedness (GWP). In a nutshell, you take a generalist’s view of what it takes to be successful at work, rather than a specialist’s, by not just focusing on improving your working skills, but by becoming a better all-around person (more details here).

Well, to be perfectly transparent, I’m a CrossFit addict now. I live and breathe all I can of it, because I find it more exciting than wearing a hand-buzzer at a networking convention. I’m subscribed to their journal, I frequent the message boards, and I work out (mostly) along with CrossFit’s 3-on-1-off schedule. It’s the bees knees, baby.

I read something on the CrossFit message board the other day that struck me as having great value, and not just in fitness terms. Damien Del Russo (one of the thousands of community members) wrote, on a thread about losing weight:

Keep in mind that CrossFit is not meant to be a weight loss plan. That is one of the effects of being fit, but not the point of the [program].

Because CrossFit is about creating a "broad, general, and inclusive fitness" (a hallmark tenet of CrossFit), it doesn’t focus on one particular result, but on the ability to get better across the board: speed, strength, agility, coordination, etc.

When you train this way, and follow balanced nutritional guidelines, your body finds its natural and optimal balance. If fat needs to come off of you, it will. If you need more muscle, it’ll grow. If your heart needs to be more fit, it gets stronger and more efficient. So, you train for inclusive fitness, and that’s exactly what you get.

Now, the "crossover" part…

It’s easy to get specialized when it comes to spirituality and personal development, and start compartmentalizing our goals, such as:

• "I want to work on my anger."
• "I want to be more patient."
• "I need to learn how to forgive myself."
• "I need to be better at managing stress."

And so, we launch ourselves into programs and initiatives to try to develop those aspects of ourselves. We read books and take classes to learn how to communicate from the heart, do mantras to help us become more compassionate or relaxed, do service projects to learn selflessness, and so on.And in the quest for the solitary examples of what we think will make us better at certain things, we lose sight of what we can do to make us better equipped to handle the multitudes of situations that come our way each day. We strive for compassion, for example, because we think that’s an element of being a better person. What about working on becoming a better person all-around?

Train for connection, end up compassionate

In all the spiritual paths I’ve learned about, the fundamental teaching is connection. The more you can connect to your inner self, the better off you are. The more you can connect to your fellow human being, the better off you are. The more connected you are to the natural world, to the spiritual world, to your thoughts, emotions, and body, the better off you are.Is that it, then?

Of course not; it’s way too simplistic (and wrong) to imply that one focus will do it all for you. In CrossFit, we run, because running builds one kind of endurance. But we also lift heavy weights, and do bodyweight exercises, and gymnastics, and on and on. Multiple points of focus to train your whole body. And the cool thing is, when you’re a better deadlifter, you’re a better runner. And jumper, and rower, and cyclist, and anything else you need to do.

In your spiritual/personal life, you’re also going to need to focus on a multitude of topics in order to best develop the whole of who you are. The better you are, for example, at tapping into your spiritual connection, the better you’ll be at all kinds of other personal skills.

The trick is to kick your spiritual couch-potato tendencies, and get going.

And how, pray tell, do you do this?

Well, in the words of Michael Valentine Smith (Robert Heinlein’s protagonist in Stranger In A Strange Land), "I am only an egg." I wouldn’t endeavor to be more inclusive, than say, Buddha, Lao Tzu, or any of the world’s Prophets.

Because even if you’re "spiritual, but not religious," you have to admit that the experience of thousands of years of spiritual practice and personal development can’t just be tossed aside because it doesn’t fit your paradigms.

Am I saying that you should adopt a formal religion? Heavens, no. I mean, go ahead if you want to; I’m not against them if your intentions are clean and your discernment strong. What I am saying, though, is that success leaves clues. There are teachings available from the spiritual and religious doctrines of the world that, when practiced with a certain degree of self-responsibility and awareness, can yield immense benefits in your personal development, and help you build a "broad, general, and inclusive spirit" — path or no path.

And if you don’t have a "path" already?

Then start simple: Get to know yourself. Spend time inside (your heart, not indoors). Connect; with yourself, with others, and with whatever sense of "Oneness" you perceive and/or believe in. Live responsibly. Act sincerely. Extend a hand graciously, and receive one just as amiably. Love. Love some more. Forgive. Be grateful. From there, follow your heart.

Is there more?

Of course there is. Keep watching this space!

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2008. | Permalink | One comment

cobalt123

This is a huge topic, I realize… one that I couldn’t do justice to in a single post (or a single lifetime, perhaps… but that won’t stop me from beginning the conversation, at least.

It seems to me that there are two primary ways that most people and most paths orient to the concept of God/Divine/Oneness/Spirit. It’s either inside of you, or outside of you.

The “outside of you” folks probably think of you and the Divine, the Divine being ‘out there’, and you trying to reach It. Your quest is to experience proximity to the Divine, and feel what it’s like to merge with the Divine, or, be in service to whatever It asks of you. (Because of the difference seen between man and Spirit, this is called, “dualism.”)

The “inside of you” folks probably think of the Divine in you, as ‘in here’, and you seeking to experience the fullness of It in you and through you. Your quest is to experience no absence of that Presence, to be filled 100% with the seamlessness of the experience of what is. (Because of the lack of difference seen between man and Spirit, this is called, “monism.”)

To the dualists, Divinity is something to be reached.
To the monists, Divinity is something to be realized.

(For more on these ideas, go here, here, here, or especially here.)

Now, I’m not putting one above the other; in my life, I’ve been both. But the reason I ask is that, from what I’m seeing, each one has profound (and profoundly different) implications on how you bring your sense of spirituality into your work.

Here are some questions to get you going…

What paradigm were you taught as a child? Have you stayed with that one, or left it? If you left it, have you come back to it? How have the paths you’ve studied oriented to the idea of God/Divine/Whatever? And what did you take from them around all this?

To be honest, drumming up conversation about this isn’t my primary aim… I’d much rather ask you to reflect, honestly and intensely, on not just what you think about this, but what you believe — what you practice with your words and actions (because sometimes, what you say you believe is different from what you actually do).

If you’d like to comment, I’d love to hear what happens for you once you’ve pondered, reflected, and chewed on this one for a while.

What I do want to impart is the idea that having clarity about which paradigm you truly follow can make a huge difference in everything you do, including your orientation to the idea of intuition, of fulfillment, of relationship, and obviously, personal growth and development, and the application of all of this in your livelihood.

And thanks to all who have commented on the previous post so far: Dawud Miracle, Shawn, Karin H., Alex, Joanna Young

© Adam for Adam Kayce, 2007. | Permalink | 23 comments