It’s not news that the kinds of questions you ask can greatly influence the kind of success you enjoy.
If you’re always asking yourself, “Can I do this? Can I get this project done?”, guess what your day is going to be swamped with? That’s right — uncertainty. Doubt. A submerged sense of confidence. And, because you’re always wondering if it’s even possible, you never fully engage with the task at hand, and so the major determiner of your project’s success (your commitment) is missing, or halfway at best.
I used to suffer from this, big time. I’d get great ideas, but always wonder if I could pull them off, or not. As a result, I spent a lot of time wondering, hemming and hawing, and never really applying myself to the fullest. I constantly felt water-logged, as if time was slipping down the drain.
(And if you want another productivity tip, try that one on for size: Engage fully. Sitting on the fence does little good when it comes to getting things done.)
So, where were we? Oh yes… questions.
Shifting away from “Can I do it?” questions is crucial if you want to make headway with your projects. At the same time, making that shift can be harder than three times nine.
Why? Because until you actually commit to making the change, you’re going to always be asking “Can” questions, instead of “How” questions.
What’s the difference?
“Can” questions are met with answers like, “yes,” or “no.” (most often, ‘no.’)
But “How” questions get answers like, “Well, I could do it like this…”, or, “I could do it like that…”
Feel the difference? As long as you’re sitting on the fence, not actually committed to getting the job done, you’re always going to be wondering if it’s even possible or not. And chances are, you’ll lean towards the ‘not.’
But once you commit to the task, and say, “Yes, I’m going to do this,” then your questions automatically shift away from wondering if it’s possible, to how you’re actually going to get it done.
Simple? Oh, yeah. Profound? Doubly so. Subtle? You’re darn tootin’.
It’s so subtle, you may not even notice when, in the midst of a tough project, you find yourself asking, “Can I get through this?” If you catch yourself asking “Can” questions again at some point, then you know you’ve pulled out of your commitment to the project, and a whirlpool of despair isn’t too far behind.
When I made the shift to saying ‘Yes’ to my projects, I could feel pounds and pounds of doubt lifting from my mind, heart, and shoulders. I naturally started asking the kinds of questions that led me towards where I wanted to go. My productivity increased, sure; but the big change was how much less effort it took to get things done, now that I wasn’t swimming upstream against the tide of doubt.
So do yourself a favor: Say yes. Commit to getting it done. Take the plunge, and engage your heart and mind in the direction of completing what’s in front of you. And sure enough, you’ll find yourself flooded with questions, and answers, that pave the way towards success.
Hi Adam
Sounds like my mentor Richard C: change “can I” to “I will” = self-fulfilling prophecy. Go with the flow of trying (= action) and not really caring if you can succeed, that is indeed swimming against the tide. Going with your own believe in yourself makes the tide go with you.
Yep, sounds right on.
And I’ve just seen that making that shift from “Can I” to “I will” sometimes takes a bit more than a mental shift — if the heart isn’t in a ‘yes’.
It sure is nice to feel the tide flowing with you though, isn’t it?
Hi Adam
The ‘funny’ thing is: once you start to get used to this shift it becomes easier and easier to ‘tackle’ most new things (well, that’s my experience anyway)
This post and the one on clarity really clicked with me. I was in the doldrums/state of gestation where there’s something you want to do but you don’t know how to get started. You’re doing your homework, doing research, playing with ideas, and being as patient as you can. But it hasn’t come together yet and there’s no way you can force it, even if you wanted to. Presumably the time was right and your two posts were great catalysts. I’ve caught the wind and am sailing again. Thanks!
Karin: That’s my experience, too. Momentum is a wonderful thing.
Jean: I’m glad to hear you’re out of the doldrums, and sailing once again! (and I love how the nautical/water-based metaphors are carrying through the post to the comments!)
I really like this. Reminds me of a great book title – “The answer to how is yes” by Peter Block. It builds on the idea that we kill off great ideas in their infancy by jumping to trying to answer “how” we will do it. Instead, just answer your ‘how’ questions with a ‘yes’.
I use this as a mantra of sorts and it really helps keep the idea in play instead of getting bogged down too early in problem solving.
Right on, Dave… I knew it was too good of an idea to be an original…
In the book Changing for Good the authors Prochaska, Norcross and DiClemente show that the first step in changing a habit isn’t preparation or action, it’s making a commitment. It’s knowing deep in your heart you really want to do it. Get that firmly established before you even start thinking about how.
Thanks for that, Jean… more proof that I was tapping into the cosmic vibe of commitment and Yes!