Why the “Six Months to Live” Question Is The Wrong One To Ask
Focus is perhaps one of the most crucial qualities to develop when it comes to bringing your best to work. When you’re focused, you can get incredible amounts of work done in short periods of time. Focus makes staying on task easy. And there’s one question in particular you can ask yourself that’s supposed to inspire herculean amounts of focus.
Now, you’ve no doubt seen this question circulating amongst the well-intentioned, self-help best-seller bookshelves’ residents for years. It’s pulled out time and again as the ultimate refiner of focus, the samurai sword of the cut-through-the-fluff-ers’ arsenal, the go-to tool of the productivity heroes’ utility belts. Ready?
If you only had six months to live, what would you do right now?
Ta da! Answer that question, and all your troubles will be solved, right?
Well…
Answer that question, yes.
Like Leo says—and I agree with him completely—it can be a great reminder when the minutiae of life starts sucking you down like quicksand. It’s a great question for the moments when you get so fixated on busy-work that you’ve lost sight of what matters to you. It’s also a great question to keep in mind as you’re establishing your life’s priorities and goals, and writing New Year’s Resolutions (assuming anyone still does that anymore), and vacation planning (New Jersey, or Bali? Hmm…).
But, don’t use it when you should be asking something else.
When it comes to planning the vision of your company, this is perhaps the last question you should be asking. Unfortunately, it’s often pulled out in circumstances like this, because it’s seen as the end-all, be-all question. But it’s no Leatherman question, believe me. Why not?
Because this question gives you a view of your life that’s illusionary.
What, are you saying we’re going to live forever? No, silly… at least not physically.
But chances are pretty good that you’re going to be here longer than that… and you’d better plan for it.
If you were only going to live another six months, and knew it ahead of time, do you think you’d be solely concerned with the actions of your business? Hardly. You’d be looking at ways to get in as much family time, quality time, and personal time as possible. You’d be spending your time connecting with the people in your life that matter to you, getting your affairs in order, and maybe slipping in a few once-in-a-lifetime activities. I know I would.
What I wouldn’t be doing is revising my Facebook profile, blogging, twittering (much 
), and I darn sure wouldn’t be redesigning my dream website.
Assuming, though, that you are going to be around longer, your questions change considerably. Ask yourself, instead, “If I was going to live another 40, 50, or 60 years, what would I be doing?”
Your answers change, don’t they. They probably change a lot.
Instead of thinking, “Skysurfing over Cozumel,” now you’re thinking, “Change the so-and-so industry,” or, “Expand my business internationally,” or, “Make a difference in the lives of every child in Ghana.” Not that it has to be ultra-grandiose, either… you could be thinking, “Grow my business to where I can sell it/retire in enough time to enjoy my grandkids.” Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what you come up with.
What matters is that you’re thinking about your life, not your endgame.
The problem I have with the six-months-to-live question is that it tends to obliterate the more common reality that you’re going to be here a while. You’ve got a chance to make an impact, in whatever way that matters to you. You’ve got a chance to make something of your self, your life, and your contribution to others.
The balance, of course, is to live for the moment at the same time you’re living for seven generations. Both perspectives are vital, and they aren’t mutually exclusive. You can do amazing things in the time you have, and have amazing times in the things you do. It takes focus, of course… and it also takes a realist’s eye to see where and how to apply it.
So…
If you only have forty years to live, what would you do right now?
Maybe you’d start taking your business more seriously. Maybe you’d take your health more seriously, or think a bit more about the person you share a bed with — or want to. Maybe you’d think of better ways to invest in your relationship with your kids.
What matters is that you’re thinking about your life, not your endgame.
Maybe you’d start reaching out and connecting with people more. Maybe you’d revise your Facebook profile, blog about something you love, start twittering (a lot ), and for darn sure, it’d be a good idea to start redesigning your dream website.
Is the ’six month’ question useless?
Heavens, no. Overused? Probably. But still useful, in the right context, along with the other questions that take into account the much more likely scenario.
The question is, what would you do? Think about both questions, “six months” and “forty years”, and post your first thoughts to the comments, would you? I think it would be really helpful to see what others come up with.
Image by Rickydavid.
Potentially related posts:
This is very true. I’ve often heard the six month question asked of people and wondered why somebody with six months to live would be so concerned about their job or business…
Thank you for turning it around!
You’re welcome, Joely! It’s like curry powder; great in the right place, but I wouldn’t want to use it everywhere.
Thank you so much for this, Adam. I have been working on the 40-year question for about 10 years. It is THE question that helps me select activities that keep me green and growing.
Even today – I looked at my want-to-get-all-this-done (all 14 hours of stuff), and ended up selecting maintaining activities (Shiva Dance, running) and previous commitment activities, things that I had said that I would do. Only one activity – one hour of my day – will be working on something new – for the future.
That feels like the right balance, for today at any rate.
Isn’t it interesting, Meredith, how a question can be so enlivening? I love how you said you’ve been working with that question for 10 years.
Have you played with the Six Month Question, too? I suppose it’d be hard not to, since it’s pretty ubiquitous… and, I’d enjoy hearing how you experience a balance of the two, if you do.
Hi Adam. This really made me think. If I knew I only had 6 months I’d live differently for sure. I’d be less concerned with my survival and live more in the moment. Your post also made me consider the idea that although most folk would make different choices, they’d also appreciate everything they did more. Talk about living consciously! Great post — thanks.
Very thought-provoking post Adam. The 6-month question is helpful in that it can refocus one on what is really important in life, but since the truth is that (hopefully) most of us will be around much longer than that the answer is not one to life your life by. If I had only 6 months to live, I suppose I’d turn off the computer and spend every spare second with my sons (tearing up a little just thinking about that…). Hoping that I’ll be around longer though doesn’t mean I should lose valuable time with them in favor of my *little* internet addiction.
refreshing to have this turned upside down. nice one.
Davina and Randa: you’ve highlighted the genius in the question – there’s nothing like the idea of death to wake us up and live, huh?
And, Randa, I like the way you said it:
That’s my point, exactly. Brilliant tool, but incomplete as a life motto.
Nice to see you both again, too!
Danielle – welcome! Great to have you here. And I’m glad you liked it.
(Folks, if you don’t know Danielle, you should check out her blog… great writing, great focus: White Hot Truth.)
Being a bit of a procrastinator…and 40 years seems like I’ve got quite a while…I’ve preferred to approach it as, “If I want to be gleaming and vibrantly alive at 86, what would I be doing today?” That way, I’m really picturing and getting a sense of myself as this really elegant, vibrant 86 year old woman – still a real “sparkler”.
I’m sure you’ll still be sparkling at 86, Shawn… if anyone knows about sparkling, it’s you.
Excellent post. Again. And yes, another thing I was thinking about.
And so, how to hone in on those things that would also apply to both time frames, and serve both the short and long term experiences.
Like cultivating conscious relationships. Taking care of my body (‘cuz eating well and moving around feel pretty darn good right now). And trying to be present and awake during as many moments as possible, so it really doesn’t matter if I’ll be here for 40 years, or only 40 minutes.
I think that’s a great point, Gina — there are things we do (or can do) that work across both domains.
I agree; exercising and eating well is one of those, because the way they help us feel is both quick and enduring. Relationships, with other people and with ourselves, is another biggie, like you said, because when we choose to live consciously and in-the-moment with others, we become “current”—nothing left out, nothing shoved away, nothing overwhelming the urge to be present—and that’s a huge gift for our collective well-being.
Great awareness; thanks for sharing!