What's That In Your Rear-View Mirror?
Have you got red and blue lights flashing in your rear view mirror? It can only mean one thing… you’d better pull over.
But you’re not pulling over. You’re hunched over the steering wheel, plodding along, trying to ignore the warning lights.
Are you crazy?
You can’t ignore those lights. You’re going to get in trouble. Shoot, you’re in trouble right now – just look at you: stressed out, shoulders in knots, belly screaming at you, “Hey, we’ve got to pay attention to this!”
So why aren’t you paying attention?
Because you think you can outrun it. Outrun a cop? No, silly – you know that’s impossible. You’re trying to outrun your resistance.
Resistance is futile
When a situation arises that you don’t want to deal with – a client calls to complain about your service, an email arrives with bad news, a deadline is looming, take your pick – the tendency is to try putting it behind you and ignoring it. It’s such an automatic response, it’s pretty much unconscious.
But that’s like ignoring a cop that’s right behind you. You know it’s there, and yet until you slow down and accept it, it’s going to weigh on you, drag you down, build up stress in your body, and sap your energy.
What keeps you from pulling over?
It typically boils down to one of two scenarios:
1. “This isn’t right.” Your picture of how life was supposed to unfold isn’t matching up with what’s actually happening. And accepting this means letting go of your picture, which can be a scary thing to do.
2. “This is too much to deal with.” The idea of facing the situation you’re resisting can feel overwhelming. Not because dealing with the event would be so time-consuming, but because of what it would mean to you to confront it. It’s the meanings you have associated with facing it, more than actually facing the situation itself, that keep you hunched over that wheel, ignoring the flashing lights.
So how do you deal with the scary idea of pulling over and facing what’s in your rear view mirror?
Objects May Be Larger Than They Appear
Funny enough, this tongue-in-cheek phrase shows you exactly why you don’t deal with what you’re resisting right away – because it seems larger than life, or certainly larger than you feel.
When you’re scared, whether it’s about letting go of your pictures of how you think things should be, or because of what you think will happen to you if you do deal with it, the antidote is the same: connection.
You’re not alone.
Connection helps you feel that you’re not alone. When your heart connects to the presence of the Divine again, you feel supported, empowered, and strengthened. Which is good news for you, and bad news for the fear.
And, connection restores perspective.
Why is perspective important? Because your fear would have you believe that this situation is bigger than you, that you can’t deal with it, that it’s just too much to handle. And connection reminds you that that’s horsepucky.
Perspective is also key when it comes to letting go of your pictures of how things “should be”, and embracing what really is. Without perspective, letting go of your pictures is terrifying, because without them, you feel alone, unprepared, and lost.
Connection, and the perspective it brings, will give you what you need to defeat the voices of fear, and be ready to face what you haven’t been ready to face yet.
So now what?
Pull over, take a deep breath, and start Remembering. I’d love to tell you that the cop is really wanting to pull someone else over, but it’s a fact of life that your boundaries are going to be pushed from time to time; it’s how you’re grown.
The important thing is, you’re not going through this alone. But don’t just take my word for it — connect, and see for yourself.
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