Comments on: Attachment, Love, and The Idea Fairy

By: Adam Kayce

Adam Kayce — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 11:31:58 +0000

Interesting — I used to nibble on crystallized ginger, because it helps with nausea. But then, I forgot it on one flight (whoops!). Panicked, I figured I was going to get sick… but instead, I settled into my seat, closed my eyes, and dropped deep inside, relaxing myself completely (like a self-hypnotic state). I had heard that motion-sickness is related to control issues, so I let go of attempting to control things, and just allowed.

The plane took off, and I was completely relaxed. After a few times of doing that, I can pretty much take any takeoff now, and just by focusing on my breathing, I’m good to go.

Saves me from having to worry about remembering ginger, too!

By: Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker

Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 22:25:46 +0000

The “lag”, I like that. Thanks. When I go on plane trips, I don’t like take offs and landings either. What I do is a favorite mantra of mine that I learned in a meditation class years ago. I would think any mantra would work for those of you who do them. It changes your focus. It helps me with nausea too if the airplane ride gets bumpy. I have used this 4 times on 22-hour-flights. It works for me.

By: Adam Kayce

Adam Kayce — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 21:32:22 +0000

Patricia, you did a great job of explaining what I call “The Lag”… “each time between taking it back and letting go gets shorter and shorter.” Thanks for your comment.

Kammie, you’re welcome. Good to see you here again! And let me know if I can help in your transition in any way…

By: Kammie K.

Kammie K. — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 16:45:52 +0000

Adam,

Hey there friend…great post! I have been playing with the detachment concept a lot these days. Sort of feeling in-between with my biz and the direction I’d like it to go…didya catch that? The BIG fat “I” getting all caught up in the mucky-muck.

I’m with Patricia…I’ve been letting go and taking back, and am really ready to let it go and see what kind of spin the magical, mysterious universe has in store for me/it.

Thanks for the reminder to let it go…

Kam

By: Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker

Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 01:46:50 +0000

“Let Go and Let God” is the phrase that I use to remind me to detach from the results. Adam, you are so right that attachment comes from fear. For me detachment is a process of letting go, taking it back, letting go, taking it back, and finally letting go for good. Each time between taking it back and letting go gets shorter and shorter until finally I let go and don’t take it back out of God’s hands. Controlling is such a difficult illusion to let go of. It is ego’s #1 tool to keep us in its clutches. Thanks for your article.

By: Adam Kayce

Adam Kayce — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 01:17:03 +0000

Dave, isn’t that amazing how we can do that? I know it’s a small thing, but it’s also not… I used to have a horrible time trying to sleep (when I was a kid; I’m out these days in less than a minute), and I’d just talk my mind into submission and… zzzz…

Thanks, Jennifer. I’m not familiar with Robert Fritz’s work… I suppose I’ll add it to the learning pile!

By: Jennifer Louden

Jennifer Louden — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 16:46:56 +0000

Adam, this is a truly wonderful practical way to put the focus on now AND one’s vision… Robert Fritz’s structural dynamics in action!

By: DaveOlson

DaveOlson — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 21:38:47 +0000

Hey Adam,

I used to get quite panicky when I was on a plane either taking off or landing. I was able to release it by talking myself through a series of questions. Was there any thing I could possibly do to change the next few moments of my life? If not, then why was I worrying? After a couple of flights when I talked myself down, I found I wasn’t getting panicky anymore. In fact, if I’m tired, I’ll often fall asleep before we even take off.

By: Adam Kayce

Adam Kayce — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 19:03:01 +0000

Jayne, I think the root of it is the realization you mentioned: “no matter what happens… I will be fine.” A lot of people give lip service to the ideal, but many fewer actually live that reality on a consistent basis (in my experience).

It sounds like you’re on the right track! Thanks for coming by and joining the conversation.

By: Jean Browman

Jean Browman — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 18:39:06 +0000

Hi again, Adam,
When I was a senior in high school I came across the Hindu idea: “Play your part well and let go of the results.” That struck me as the only sane way to go through life. As you mention in your post, that’s easier said than done, but for me it’s been well worth practicing.

It seems to me you’re advocating replacing fear with positive visualizations of the result. That’s an empowering approach, but it’s different than what Jayne is saying. I agree with you that the trick is to shift our focus…the easiest way to stop thinking about something is to think about something else. What I try to do is focus on my own performance. Am I playing my part well? For instance, what do I need to learn? What skills do I need to work on?

I once worked at a place that was on a financial roller coaster. Sometimes the funding would be great. Other times there would be layoffs. Some people wasted a lot of time worrying and passing around rumors. Other people focused on doing their jobs well and making the most of the opportunity while they had it. Not only were they more likely to keep their jobs, they were more likely to find another one right away if they were downsized. And it sure saved a lot of wear and tear on their nervous systems. That experience really taught me to focus on performance rather than on outcome goals.

Thanks for the post!